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Insights for a better mental health
Insights December 2024: The Importance of Drills
Drills are defined as repeated training procedures designed to improve emergency performance focusing on efficiency and response. Wow, that's a bit formal. However, most of us are familiar with them from school. In the past, they were called “duck and cover” drills; sadly,now there are “active shooter drills”. Then there are the ubiquitous Fire Drills. Drills are in the workplace, by the military, and by law enforcement.
There are many benefits to doing drills. Hopefully, they will result in preparedness, efficiency, and effectiveness for the real event. I want to focus on the gains discovered during and after the drills. They expose deficiencies and fallacies in the response system. Often, participants fail to appreciate or ignore the actual warning signals. They do not know what to doand what to take. They do not know whether to stay in place or evacuate. They do not know when the danger is over. Participants often do not recognize who is in charge. Drills show how things may change even during them. And those involved do not know whom and how they should communicate with.
These are the real reasons and benefits of holding drills. A review of the drill yields many ideas. It answers the question, what did we learn today? Yes, I am advocating holding drills and learning from them.
There are many benefits to doing drills. Hopefully, they will result in preparedness, efficiency, and effectiveness for the real event. I want to focus on the gains discovered during and after the drills. They expose deficiencies and fallacies in the response system. Often, participants fail to appreciate or ignore the actual warning signals. They do not know what to doand what to take. They do not know whether to stay in place or evacuate. They do not know when the danger is over. Participants often do not recognize who is in charge. Drills show how things may change even during them. And those involved do not know whom and how they should communicate with.
These are the real reasons and benefits of holding drills. A review of the drill yields many ideas. It answers the question, what did we learn today? Yes, I am advocating holding drills and learning from them.
Insights November 2024: The Joy of Mowing the Lawn
We all have heard of No Mow May, to preserve pollen plants and their spreading insects.This insight is the opposite. It is an ode to the joy of mowing, let me set the scene. Starting eachspring, and until the fall, I mow our front lawn. I do it with an old, very heavy rotating gasdriven lawn mower. It is hard work and tough going at certain portions of the lawn. You shouldnow ask, “Why this Insight?”
Here is why. These are my reasons for this Insight and what mowing means to me. Iview mowing as one of my household responsibilities. Peggy loves her garden and enjoys it. Agood-looking lawn compliments it. The wild-growing grass obeyed and answered my machine.The cut grass fragments nourish the lawn. And the big pay-off is the newly mowed looks great.I survey my results with pride. I have a sense of accomplishment and achievement.
Remember Maslov’s hierarchy of needs pyramid. It is base starts with Physiologicalneeds are biological requirements for human survival, e.g., air, food, drink, shelter, clothing,warmth, sex, and sleep. The top is crowned with Self-actualization needs are the highest level inMaslow’s hierarchy, and refer to the realization of a person’s potential, self-fulfillment, seekingpersonal growth, and peak experiences. I would add a need to be effective and accomplishsomething to that list. Mowing and the mowed lawn make me feel effective.
This Insight was started at 7:32 PM on Monday, August 26, 2024, and I just finishedmowing the lawn. I feel exhilarated. That echoes the above reasons. I have a sense ofaccomplishment and triumph. The grass did “my way.” And it was great exercise.
Moreover, and switching writing times, it is Saturday, September 7, 2024, I was backmowing perhaps for the last time this season. My partner, Peggy did the lakefront hilly area withthe mower, This reminded me of my Kenny Roger’s The Gambler moment on May 14, 2022, at2:30 PM. That was when I realized I could not mow the entire lawn. Yes, mowing is important tome.
Here is why. These are my reasons for this Insight and what mowing means to me. Iview mowing as one of my household responsibilities. Peggy loves her garden and enjoys it. Agood-looking lawn compliments it. The wild-growing grass obeyed and answered my machine.The cut grass fragments nourish the lawn. And the big pay-off is the newly mowed looks great.I survey my results with pride. I have a sense of accomplishment and achievement.
Remember Maslov’s hierarchy of needs pyramid. It is base starts with Physiologicalneeds are biological requirements for human survival, e.g., air, food, drink, shelter, clothing,warmth, sex, and sleep. The top is crowned with Self-actualization needs are the highest level inMaslow’s hierarchy, and refer to the realization of a person’s potential, self-fulfillment, seekingpersonal growth, and peak experiences. I would add a need to be effective and accomplishsomething to that list. Mowing and the mowed lawn make me feel effective.
This Insight was started at 7:32 PM on Monday, August 26, 2024, and I just finishedmowing the lawn. I feel exhilarated. That echoes the above reasons. I have a sense ofaccomplishment and triumph. The grass did “my way.” And it was great exercise.
Moreover, and switching writing times, it is Saturday, September 7, 2024, I was backmowing perhaps for the last time this season. My partner, Peggy did the lakefront hilly area withthe mower, This reminded me of my Kenny Roger’s The Gambler moment on May 14, 2022, at2:30 PM. That was when I realized I could not mow the entire lawn. Yes, mowing is important tome.
Insights October 2024: Variations on the more things change, the more they stay the same.
One hears that change is inevitable. Just look around you and see evidence of changes like in your phone, going to the movies, how you shop, and how you get information. Change happens, As the Fall foliage picture shows, deciduous trees like the maple leaves change colors and drop off, while evergreens like spruce retain their leaves and remain green all winter. That is one variation.
Here are other examples of things that do not change. In Insight September 2021, I wroteabout the Friendship Triangle. It asked which is more important in friendships- similarities or opposites? Regardless of how you voted, the key to friendship is shared and similar values. My values are loyalty, family, honesty, and caring. These transcend race, religion, nationality, and political affiliation.
Another example of an unchangeable thing for me is information, I demand the truth, accuracy, and facts from whatever source of information. As Sergeant Joe Friday in a televisionshow, Dragnet, “Just the facts, ma'am”.
Here is another variation of the theme. Life is full of definitions, castigations, and labels of people. There are broad terms such as man or woman. And more narrowing the focus, there are such as by political party or religion or ethnicity. They all miss the mark of the essential and enduring unchangeable truth: the utter, astonishing, and amazing uniqueness of each person.
The older I get, the more I appreciate how each person is truly one of a kind. There is a closing scene in the movie, Schindler’s List, it is said, “Whoever saves one life saves the world entire.” Starting with one’s DNA and moving into daily habits, tastes, experiences, feelings, and attitudes, you can get a glance at the fantastic and infinite ways each person stands unique. Changing the setting, country, or era, the uniqueness of the individual remains unchanged.
Hence. the more things change, the more they stay the same.
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Insights September 2024: Auto-antonymic Words
What is an auto-antonymic word and for what reason is it here? Auto-antonymic or autoantonymy, besides being a cool-sounding word, means the same word has two opposite meanings. To clarify, let me show you several examples from 16 Words with Two Opposite Meanings: Auto-Antonyms. “Bound Depending on context, “bound” can mean “tied up, restricted, tethered to” or “heading to a particular place.” You might be bound to your family or bound to college… Cleave “Cleave” can mean “to cling together” or “to split apart.” A married couple might cleave to one another, while a lumberjack might cleave a log in two… Fast “Fast” might mean “fixed,” as in “hold fast to the railing,” or it might mean “quickly,” as in “moving fast.”
There are several reasons I love and enjoy autoantonymy. First, these words illustrate the beauty and cleverness of the English language. I love puns and these are kissing cousins to them. They are fun to play with. Based on the examples, you are bound to love puns.
Another reason to appreciate autoantonymy is that all too often a word or a statement is taken out of context. In a media-driven world sound bis and instant news people and ideas are misidentified or appropriated. Critics and detractors love to take one word or one phrase out of context and hurl it in your face.
And finally, for me, this Insight is for September. This means to me, the Jewish New Year. It starts with Rosh Hashanah translated as Head of the Year and ten days later ends with Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. Those intervening 10 days are called the Days of Awe. And awe is an auto-antonymic word. One may see someone or thing as marvelous and glorious. Or,the view of that person is one threat and danger. Awe is a powerful word with dual and contradictory connotations.
One last thought about awe is an auto-antonymic word. Perhaps, in this word, awe, one finds both contradiction and also ambivalence, In my book, Life's Dueling Dualities: A Grandfather's Legacy of Wisdom, I define ambivalence, as simultaneously experiencing two opposite emotions. It is possible to be in fear and wonder of the Lord
At any rate, please enjoy the trip through auto-antonymic words.
Insight August 2024: The Value of Vacations
Let me begin with a disclaimer: I am writing this while I am on vacation. I am therefore walking the talk, metaphorically in terms of appreciating the benefits of a vacation. Three quick qualifiers. One Americans are too often workaholics. So, vacations are challenging for some. Hence, I am writing while on vacation, and am guilty as charged. Two, I am retired. That means every day is either Saturday or Sunday, So why vacation? I will get there after the last qualifier. And third, I as a psychiatrist, especially, the Freudian type, we all knew Freud always took the month of August off. Thus, this is the August Insight.
Here are the following values of vacation: renewal, problem-solving, relooking at the way you are living, meeting new people, going to different places, doing things you do not or cannot do at home, and a better appreciation of your living unit dynamics.
We live in the age of batteries. Yes, our smartphones and now our cars work on batteries. And batteries need recharging. Vacations do that. And recharging leads us to renewal. As the rest of this insight will outline, the vacation gives you a new perspective on your life. It allows you a chance to look at life differently. Vacations can fulfill the cliché,” An unexamined life is not worth living”.
On a vacation, you must make a million decisions. Where and what to eat? Where to stay? What to see? These are challenges and opportunities. This is applied problem-solving. It is great for your brain health,
On vacation, you meet new people. That is oblivious and important. All travel programs emphasize “It is the people you meet”. Be it a food server, a tour guide, hotel clerk, they are new to you. Each has a story to tell. Each offers you a new interpersonal opportunity and adventure. I remember a friend’s mother who greeted us in an Alaskan port with a sign Soreff. She provedto be a super local guide. We had such a tale to her daughter when we returned home. On this trip to Vermont, I played five great of chess with Rich at the Westend Old Book Store. It was memorable, challenging, and fun, We each won two games and tied in one.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, then an actual visit to a place is worth a thousand pictures. Being and beholding the Grand Canyon is worth more than a picture of it. The grandeur, vastness, and expanse are amazing. The smell, the noise, and the moment make a place. There are places on the bucket for that reason.
As I am writing we are staying in a time-share with a pool. Although we live on the lake, it is still too cold for me to swim in. Mountains, valleys, islands, and oceans are not in your living room! Finally, vacations require a team effort in planning and doing. My partner, Peggy, is an amazing organizer. She shines in those skills on our vacation. And, on vacation, I appreciate them.
Renewal, problem-solving, looking at the way you are living, meeting new people, going to different places, doing things you do not or cannot do at home, and a better appreciation of your living unit dynamics represent the values of a vacation. Go ahead and take one.
Insights July 2024: The Five W’s
Steve Soreff, MD
What I will describe is one way to look at historical events. In high school, I had a history teacher who taught me how to look at historical events. He called it the 5 W’s. They were as follows: When did it occur? What occurred? Where did it happen? Who participated? And the key for him, what was the historical significance of it?
To illustrate this idea, look at the Battle of Saratoga in the American Revolutionary War. When the British Army surrendered to the American Army on October 17, 1777. What happened was that the British northern army of 8,000 men was marching south toward Albany, NY. At the same time, southern English forces came north to isolate New England. Before the surrender, there were two parts of the Battle of Saratoga on September 19 and October 7. The Where involved 2 battles on Bemis Heights and the actual surrender was in Schuylerville, NY. The Who meant the British General John Burgoyne surrendered to the American General Horatio Gates. And to the historical significance, this victory and surrender not only boosted American morale but also allowed France entrance into the war on the colonist side. Without France's help, the Americans could not have won the revolution.
This five-W formula helps context, meaning, and purpose to events and our own experiences. For example, had I not taken a rotating internship on a psychiatric unit in a teaching hospital; I would not have chosen to become a psychiatrist.Here is another example of historical significance. The Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. As I suggested in Insights December 2021, the real ultimate significance was that the United States entered World War II on the side of the Allies and that led to the defeat of the Axis powers.The 5 W’s especially the historical significance offers a neat way to look at events and can promote good journalism.
Insights June 2024 An Appreciation of the Role of Luck in Life.
Steve Soreff, MD
A financial management company uses this slogan: “Life Well Planned”. That is a neat and appealing message. Many of us would like to believe that life and decisions can and should be logical, orderly, organized, and make sense. And yet, we do hedge our bets and buy car andhome insurance. However, life is rarely orderly, neat, and “well planned”. There is an element of luck, or something called fate, or just plain chance in life and our lives. Let me provide several examples to make my point.
I had a friend in Worcester who served as a sailor on a destroyer in the Pacific during World War II. He told the following story. His vessel was about fourth in the queue to replenish its weapons from an ammunition ship. Of interest and sadly appropriate to this tale, US Navy ammunition ships were named for volcanoes. The ammunition ship exploded killing over a thousand sailors in the boat itself as well as the attached destroyer and another one next in line. My friend attributes his life and survival to luck. Had his ship been closer, he could not have been there to tell the tale.
Viktor Frankl wrote about this situation in his landmark book, Man’s Search for Meaning. He was a Jewish psychiatrist who was being transported by the Nazis from one slave labor/ concentration camp to another toward the end of World War II. Instead of being placed on a truck for the trip, he stayed behind to care for some ill prisoners. Later he discovered that prisoners on the truck that he was supposed to be on, had been killed by the Nazis guards. Again, he ascribes his survival to luck.
A final story came from daughter Sasha, who lived in Brooklyn on the morning of Tuesday, September 11, 2001. Being aware of the planes crashing into the Twin Towers, she climbed a knoll there and observed both Towers going down. Standing next to her was a gentleman in a business suit. He said he worked in one of the Twin Tower Buildings. If not for his meeting in Brooklyn that morning, he would have been working in that building. Again, because of chance, he was there and alive.
This is an appreciation and recognition of the role and power of just plain luck in one’s life. How has chance played in your life?
Insights May 2024: More Dimensions of Seeing the Big Picture
Steve Soreff, MD
In my book, Life's Dueling Dualities: A Grandfather's Legacy of Wisdom, in Chapter 6entitled The Big Picture, Forward Movement and Everyday Life, I talked about the value ofhaving a Big Picture view in your life. Starting there, I offered the example of my Pearson 36-foot sailboat in the Monhegan Race. One year we participated in that famous sailboat race calledthe Monhegan. It is an overnight race covering approximately 90 miles for my boat’s designatedclass. Before we started the race, I went into the cabin and rolled out the nautical chart to look atthe big picture. I surveyed all the navigation markers we needed to round for the entire race. Thisnot only provided us with an overview of the entire race but also helped us to appreciate andcelebrate each marker. Bragging rights, we came in 3rd in that race😊 This provides one concreteinstance of the usefulness of the big picture but there are many more.
Here are three more examples of those benefits. When I decided to go to medical schooland become a physician, that became my big picture. It provided solace through many hours ofstudy, internship, and residency. Another way to look at it is how a lack of the big picture caneclipse your life. Recently, arthritis in my left ankle was diagnosed. The pain and the resultinglimitations became my focus. However, with that attention, I failed to see all the good things inmy life- my partner, shelter, family, friends, and all the other activities I could still do. That big-picture view gave me perspective.
The big-picture view allowed me to put one problem into a boarder context. Here isanother example. During a major, unexpected Nor’easter which began on Wednesday, April 3,and lasted through Friday, April 6, 2024, we were without power, phones landline and smartones, television, and the Internet. I could have focused just on our immediate plight. However,we also did have a generator-yippee! The losses are put into the context that we have a generatorand thus power. The lights were on; we were warm; the refrigerator was running. The big picturewas that we were safe and protected. And yes, all were restored by the weekend. And again,seeing the big picture gave me perspective. Seeing the big picture has many values and facets.
Insight April 2024: Dealing with Contradictory Attitudes About Your Current Situation
Steve Soreff, MD
Let’s start with the famous sailors’ dilemma: when the sailors are at sea, they long to be ashore; when they are ashore, they long to be at sea. However, contradictory views on the current situation often apply to our own lives. For some people, when they are in a group, they wish to be alone. Then alone, they want to be back in the group. Many individuals work all their lives with the goal of the relaxation and tranquility of retirement. But once retired, some report, “ I am busier now in retirement than I was when I was working.” Remember watching a movie and hoping it would soon end. Then, when it was all over, wondering what to do now. Another example is that many people read an engrossing book swiftly wanting to find out how it ends. And yet it is so engaging, that the reader also wants it to keep going. Remember how students complain about going to school only to be bored on the weekend? Or as employees, we grudgingly go to work only to be bored on the days off. Perhaps, there is the old conundrum, which is it the journey or the destination or both?
We live or suffer through numerous situational attitude contradictions. There are severalpossible explanations for this fascinating and vexing phenomenon. One is the memory issue. We often recall past events through rose-colored glasses. How do we talk about the good old days? We recall the fun moments and forget the boring, uncomfortable times. So, the sailors think of the joy of the wind in your face while they wander about shore leave. Another explanation is that many of us are restless and have a touch of a “hyperactivity disorder”. So, we too quickly lose interest in what currently doing, and we want to do something else.
An alternative explanation involves the cliché’ “the grass is always greener on the other side”. Translated into these situations, it means whatever you are currently doing, something else looks more appealing. Yet another way to explain this is the fear of missing something. For example, the sailor ashore is afraid of missing out on some great adventure while underway. Or viscera versa, while at sea, one is concerned about not being there for some fabulous opportunity on land.
What to do with these contradictory attitudes about the situation? This answer is to enjoy what you are doing at that moment.
We live or suffer through numerous situational attitude contradictions. There are severalpossible explanations for this fascinating and vexing phenomenon. One is the memory issue. We often recall past events through rose-colored glasses. How do we talk about the good old days? We recall the fun moments and forget the boring, uncomfortable times. So, the sailors think of the joy of the wind in your face while they wander about shore leave. Another explanation is that many of us are restless and have a touch of a “hyperactivity disorder”. So, we too quickly lose interest in what currently doing, and we want to do something else.
An alternative explanation involves the cliché’ “the grass is always greener on the other side”. Translated into these situations, it means whatever you are currently doing, something else looks more appealing. Yet another way to explain this is the fear of missing something. For example, the sailor ashore is afraid of missing out on some great adventure while underway. Or viscera versa, while at sea, one is concerned about not being there for some fabulous opportunity on land.
What to do with these contradictory attitudes about the situation? This answer is to enjoy what you are doing at that moment.
Insights March 2024 Dispute Resolution: Face it and Face to Face
Steve Soreff, MD
I will admit I am guilty of triple-face lead. Let me explain it with an example. Recently, in an organization of which I am a member, was dealing with a major dispute. The differing parties initially attempted to deny and ignore the area of concern. Then they started to air their opposing opinions via the group’s email system. This served only to amplify the disagreement and the messaging became more and more nasty. Finally, it was resolved when the folks involved elected to meet face-to-face meeting. In a civil and fruitful discussion, the problem was laid to rest. In the end, all shook hands and the organization moved on to other issues.
This example highlights two dynamics in communication. One involves the first “face it.” Simply, if there is a problem, deal with it sooner rather than later. As Wonderopolis.org says “People use ‘a stitch in time saves nine’ to express that it's better to spend a little time and effort to deal with a problem right now than to wait until later, when it may get worse and take longer to deal with.” Another lesson here is that email exchanges can too often lead to “wars”. People too frequently type before they think it through. In this case, the barrage of emails served the heighten the views and accelerate the problem.
The next “face-to-face” offers another way to resolve disputes. Face to face allows the full range of communication avenues to be employed. There is the visual component. This includes how people appear and act. This is body language-gestures, posture, and performance. There is the key verbal component. What they say, how they say it, and their tone of voice. Utilizing the many aspects of face-to-face communication helps to resolve the issue
Insights February 2024: Exercise Outdoors
Steve Soreff, MD
I believe in exercise. I walk the talk and recognize the value of exercise. So, it is a given, yes, exercise is important. What I am advocating is to do exercise outdoors.
Let me use an example of today, Tuesday, October 24, 2023. It was a beautiful Fall day, cool but sunny with little wind. I elected to walk the rail trail in Raymond, New Hampshire rather than my usual riding the standing bike while watching an informative Public Television or learning from a Great Courses session. I discovered the many benefits of my outdoor adventure. First, the Fall foliage was inspiring and delightful to observe. Second. I exercised for a longer time since the scenery was so enticing, stimulating, and engaging. Third, the air I believe was fresher than being in the house while working out. Fourth, I could think
better while walking. All exercising improves cognition. But doing it outdoors definitely enhanced my thinking and idea generation.
This University of California, Davis Cultivating Health website offers “3 ways getting outside into nature helps improve your health… 1. Nature can help us improve our thinking, reasoning, and other mental abilities… 2. Nature can improve physical wellness Getting out into nature can lead us to want to walk, bike, hike, or kayak more often. People typically engage in regular physical activity when they're in nature. So, stepping outside can help you keep a healthy weight or even lose weight by increasing activity levels. Studies have also shown that being in nature has a positive effect on our bodies by reducing cortisol levels, muscle tension, and demands on our cardiovascular systems (lowers heart rate and blood pressure)…3. Being outside can improve your mental health.”
And to continue my advocating for outdoor exercising, for the last 3 years, three times a week Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, I do Tai Chi with a group outdoors, Yes, we do it year-round. COVID-19 made us select outdoors, but being in the ‘woods adds to and enhances our experience. We see the trees, hear the birds, and feel the wind. They inspire us.
Go outdoors to exercise. :)
Insights January 2024: Date Night
Steve Soreff, MD
What is Date Night, and for what reason is it here? The official definition from the Cambridge Dictionary is “an occasion when two people who are married, or who have been in a relationship for a long time, go out together in the evening to enjoy themselves”.
Let me provide an example that also serves as an explanation of its importance. My partner Peggy and I have been together for 29 years. For Cribbage fans, 29 is the highest hand one can have. Our lives recently have been rather busy and we have been going in many different directions. In the words of the cliché, we were “like two ships passing in the night”. What to do? We both realized in the middle of an extraordinarily involved October 2023 that we needed a break. We took off Sunday afternoon, October 22, 2023, drove to the coast of New Hampshire, watched the surfers at Jenness State Park; walked the low tide beach, and dined a Newick’s. We had a great time and reconnected with each other. Technically it was a date afternoon, instead of date night, but the message was clear, we nicely reconnected.
And there are possible consequences of couples not taking time alone together. There are situations when the last child goes off to college or leaves home. The pair have worked efficiently and effectively getting the kids where they needed to be, Now, besides for some there is the empty nest syndrome, and the couple is again all alone. In some incidences, the last child’s exit leads to a divorce. Date nights help promote the couple heading happily off into the sunset together.
The message is to take time for this important relationship. Call it what you want, but carve out moments of reconnection. It nicely will remind you of the reason for the relationship in the first. And it is fun!!
Let me provide an example that also serves as an explanation of its importance. My partner Peggy and I have been together for 29 years. For Cribbage fans, 29 is the highest hand one can have. Our lives recently have been rather busy and we have been going in many different directions. In the words of the cliché, we were “like two ships passing in the night”. What to do? We both realized in the middle of an extraordinarily involved October 2023 that we needed a break. We took off Sunday afternoon, October 22, 2023, drove to the coast of New Hampshire, watched the surfers at Jenness State Park; walked the low tide beach, and dined a Newick’s. We had a great time and reconnected with each other. Technically it was a date afternoon, instead of date night, but the message was clear, we nicely reconnected.
And there are possible consequences of couples not taking time alone together. There are situations when the last child goes off to college or leaves home. The pair have worked efficiently and effectively getting the kids where they needed to be, Now, besides for some there is the empty nest syndrome, and the couple is again all alone. In some incidences, the last child’s exit leads to a divorce. Date nights help promote the couple heading happily off into the sunset together.
The message is to take time for this important relationship. Call it what you want, but carve out moments of reconnection. It nicely will remind you of the reason for the relationship in the first. And it is fun!!
Insights December 2023 The Importance of a Future Tense
Steve Soreff, MD
Let me make sense of a future tense. Note the cute rhyme We all live in three tenses past, present, and future. The past is our memories, our biography, and our history, Visit someone with Alzheimer's and you see how important the past is, Past events shape your development and influence your personality. The present is right now. Much of meditation emphasizes in being in the here and now and in the moment. What I am talking about is the value of having a future and how important that is in your life.
Look at an example of how no future changes everything. If you ever had a chance to visit a family member or friend in a Hospice Unit, this will make sense. Then and there you will discover how much of life and conversation revolves around the things happening in the future. They include plans for the weekend, holidays, vacations, events, and trips. Suddenly, on that visit, you will be discussing things what did you have for lunch or how do you feel?
Here is yet another way to appreciate how much of life is wrapped up in the future. Before the era of robots building cars, there was an interesting question. Which day of the week produces the best automobiles? And the answer is, may I have the envelope vole, please? It is Wednesday. The reason is that on Monday and Tuesday, workers are talking about their last weekend. On Thursday and Friday, they are discussing what they will do next weekend. Thus, only on Wednesday does full production occur. This can be applied to many other work settings.
What I am saying is that having a future, something to plan for, and an event you look forward to is integral to your life. You go the school to get into college; you attend grad school for a future better job. You work long hours for a great vacation. You look forward to your children’s graduations and marriages. You work all your life so you can retire. We go toward the light at the end of the tunnel. As a psychiatrist, I want to know that the patient will be there for the next session. Life without a future can be very painful and bleak.
Yes, appreciate your past and celebrate today. But have things in your future!
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Insights November 2023 An Attitude of Gratitude
Steve Soreff, MD
An attitude of gratitude is so appropriate for November whose signature date is Thanksgiving Day. I know at this point I should break into the Monty Python song, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, but seriously an attitude of gratitude offers a positive way of view and wellbeing. Indeed, the gratitude idea has several stages and facets.
First, start with your real home, that is your health. Assuming you are not ill, be gratefulfor your good health. Your heart beats 100,000 times a day. Be grateful that not only you are just being free of disease but also that all your organs function properly. I was the psychiatric consultant to a dialysis unit. For me, every week was kidney appreciation week. Many Jews begin with Shacharit– a Morning Prayer, thanking God for being alive. It is nice to be healthy.
Second, it is great to have shelter, food, and clothing. Yes, all things we take for granted. See how you feel when you lose power. Not fun. Many natural events such as hurricanes and tornadoes are constant reminders of how things could change. Third are family and friends. Fourth is a job or reasonable finances to retire.
Filth is a recognition of the daily miracles around us. The glory of the sunrise, the beautyof a flower, the sweet forest smell, and the magnificence of the sunset are all there each day.
An attitude of gratitude allows you to enjoy more your life, Adopt it!
Insights October 2023 Wake up to Music
In the morning my alarm clock is actually a radio. Historically, it was set to my localNational Public Radio station, NHPR. However, as my radio aged or the local signal waned, Iended up waking to static. I searched for a different station, Much to my delight I discovered aclassical music station with a strong signal. Now, I hear beautiful music to wake me up.Metaphorically, it offers a message of hope, energy, passion, and dare I say, love.Before my static mornings, I used to hear the news upon exiting sleep. It was often, toooften, negative. It was filled with death and destruction. It set an ugly way to start the day. Note,the cute rhyme
My classical morning music was inspiring and led to several discoveries. First, I actually,upon listening to that music, found it allowed me to create my own meaning for the piece I justheard. It was like a Rorschach test. I could apply my own interpretation to what I listening to.Second, I gained a greater appreciation of the cleverness and genius of the music. It wasexpressive, fun, complicated, mischievous, and ever-changing.
And, third, I discovered classical music provided not only a refreshing way to wake up butalso great background to writing or driving. I am listening to it now as mi write this Insight. Trywaking up to classical music. You, too will love it.
Listen
Insight: September 2023 Listen
There is an old story of two persons who took their dispute to the Rabbi or to make itmore politically correct (PC) and non-denominational, a Clergy Person (CP). The CP heard thefirst person’s argument and said, “You’re right”. Then the second individual presented anotherside of the situation. To which, the CP replied, “You’re right.” A third person observing thesituation, asked the CP, “You said both were right”. The CP addressed the observer with,“You’re right, too”. It is funny but offers me to introduce the important value of listening.Back to the PC, one often says from the pulpit. “ You listen but do not hear”. Just anotherway of making the point. Too often one does not take actually the time to really listen to another.We are thinking of something else or already preparing the response. We live in an era of textmessages, instant communication, and soundbites. When was the last good and real conversationyou have had? You’ll be amazed at what you missed.Various dictionaries offer definitions for the verb listen, They include paying attention tosound, hearing something with thoughtful attention, and giving consideration. Regardless of theofficial definition, the essence remains really to listen is an active verb. As a psychiatrist, folkswould joke with me and say, “And all you do all day is just listen”. My answer is “Yes, and Iinvite you to do it”. They refuse. It is hard to really hear someone. Try it. It is especiallychallenging to do to just listen without judgment or commentHow to Practice Active Listening offers 8 ways to do it. Pay close attention, Use bodylanguage, Don’t interrupt, Paraphrase what has been said, Show interest with questions, Avoiddistractions, and Be comfortable with silence.Better than “just do it”, just listen. Listening will open up new worlds to you.
Insights August 2023 This land is your Land…
This land is your Land…is the title and first part of Woody Guthrie’s unofficialAmerica’s second national anthem. “This land is your land and this land is my land,From the California to the New York island, From the redwood forest to the Gulf Stream waters,This land was made for you and me”.And the insight is the realization that all of us are just temporary owners and travelers onthe eternal ‘your land’. This is in the Native American tradition of not owning the land butrather guardians of it. In the Jewish tradition of the Jubilee year at the end of seven cyclesof shmita (Sabbatical years). These all indicate, is really God’s land.Recently, I have witnessed a couple of moments of our only temporary ‘ownership’ of one’s land.
In Nottingham, a couple through a conservation easement process designated theirland to be forever for farming and a farming family. In Lee, NH another couple transferred thefarmland they had artistically and creatively developed for decades over to a public garden,Bedrock Gardens. Regionally, the Appalachian Mountain Club sees itself as the steward of thewilderness.This is a comforting and refreshing idea about land.
A blank page on my lawn
Insights July 2023 A Writer’s Dream
On the evening into the morning of May 3, 2023. I had a dream (no, not to the level ofMartin Luther King's dream. Actually, it verged on a nightmare, of a blank piece of paper on myfront lawn. All night, I tried to do things with that piece of paper. Being a psychiatrist with agreat appreciation for Freud, I believe in dream interpretation. Here is what that dream meant tome as a writer. I love to write; it is my passion. Paper aka the computer screen is my workplace.
With that analogy in place, let me invoke the old Chinese symbol for a crisis. It is bothdanger and an opportunity. That accounts for the reason my image of a lawn blank was either adream or a nightmare or both. Forgive me, but yet another chestnut to invoke. It is the glass iseither half full or half empty. Let explain.
The dream, for a writer, is that a blank piece of paper represents a place and opportunityto apply one’s craft. Analogies would be like an empty canvas for a painter or a huge rock for asculptor. The plank paper means a place to tell a story, describe an event, and offer advice. It isour opportunity to create. On the other hand, the nightmare is that the blank is a dead-end, awriter’s block, and you have produced nothing.
Since the page is on my lawn, it also says that it is in a place of growth, hope, and green.Thank you for allowing me to share my writing passion. With this Insight, I did fill in the blank!
Insights June 2023 My Fiddler on the Roof Moment
Fiddler on the Roof, the play, and the movie have had a profound effect around the world. Yes, this is true but why? It shows many universal and timeless themes. These include an attack on your village, forced immigration, and how parents handle their children’s choices. Let me explain ‘my moment’ and the theme that touched me, by looking at it through the lens of another film about it called Fiddler: A Miracle of Miracles. That movie “is the first in-depth documentary that chronicles the story of the international Broadway blockbuster "Fiddler on the Roof" – exploring the unexpected richness of its themes as well as its vast reach across time andcultures”. That film told the back story of both the play and the movie. It made the astonishing claim that every day some group in the world is staging a production of the play!
Back to ‘my moment’. The play/film is based on Sholem Aleichem’s story Tevye and his Daughters. And ‘my moment’ is based on how Tevye deals with the life choices of his daughters. Each daughter has selected a husband whose lifestyle and political views differ from Tevye’s. He reluctantly accepts some of their selections and ultimately says the last daughter’s choice is something like this, “I can bend but will not break.” The theme is how parents handle the lifestyle of their children and grandchildren.
This echoes my idea, “You can never predict what your children will become”. Oversimplified, most parents have some hopes and plans for what their children will become when they grow up. This is often governed by the parents’ backgrounds, culture, religion, education, politics, philosophy, and lifestyle. Yes, all parents want their offspring to be happy, but often the children follow different than those predicted paths. That was true for me and in for Tevye.
I have yes focus on parental aspirations and real life. Each one of my children now adults is a terrific and neat person. I appreciate Tevye’s world and his relationship with his children. It is also how the first generation adapts to and adjusts to the changes in the next generation. My children are living their own lives and selecting their own paths. My point here is that regardless of their choices, their paths, and their journeys, I love them.
Insights May 2023 Where is Your Center of the Map?
On Tuesday, January 3, 2023, I was tutoring my Israeli student via Zoom in English. The location of his computer was in his bedroom. On his wall was a giant world map. This is a great learning device. Remember Frank Bunker Gilbreth, Jr.’s Cheaper by the Dozen, he had maps around the bathtub as a neat teaching device. The center of his wall was a global map with Israel right in the middle. Since all synagogues around the world are oriented to pray toward Jerusalem, in a way that makes sense, But, in America, we center the world map on North America. To be cute, we are content to put our continent in the center of our world map.
What’s my point? In the map example, in most cases, the center of your world chart is your continent. I want to call it the geographic center. This leads me to the real point, ethnocentered and ego-centric views of the world. We all tend to see the world through the lens of our country, our political party, our state, our community, our race, our religion, our profession, and ourselves. This is all-natural.
Ronald Reagan once said when your neighbor gets laid off, that is a recession. When you get laid off, that is depression. An alternate example is from the Boston Globe. The headline was “A Boston Women Hurt in San Francisco Earthquake”. The story focused on her, not the earthquake.
There are downsides to this perspective. One often lacks empathy for another person. One fails to listen to others’ views of the world. People live in silos.
The take-home message is to be aware and recognize it.
The take-home message is to be aware and recognize it.
Insights April 2023 Here I Am.
A number of times in the Five Books of Moses aka the Torah or the Jewish Bible, at highly significant events, G-d is revealed to individuals, such as Abraham and Moses. At that moment, the Hebrew word Hineni which translates to “here I am” is uttered. There are many interpretations of the meaning and importance of those words. I will focus on being here and present in the moment rather than the deity implications of them.
“Here I am” means both pay attention to me, the person and pay attention to the moment. It is both a declaration of independence and a call to be in the present. The first idea says look at me. I am standing before you. All too often, many of us have a situation where people are supposedly talking to us. But they are looking at their cell phones or scanning the room for the next person to chat with. It is very vexing. We want their personal attention!
The second concept translates into the whole concept and appreciation for being in the moment. It is the cornerstone of the mindfulness movement. Being mindful concentrates on being totally in the present. It says one’s mind is always crammed with regrets about the past deeds or future activities The mindfulness programs focus on breathing and breathing techniques to get one into the present.
Either way, “Here I am” represents immediate demand. Answer it!
Insights March 2023 The Desire to be Definitive
Yet, again, I am starting with puzzling and perhaps provocative. Let me explain. In one week in December 2022, I went through two different dental and medical procedures. Yes, too much information, I know. One was a root canal and the other a Mohs procedure. Both procedures were successful and performed by highly trained and very competent specialists in their respected fields-dentistry and dermatology. Getting to the point, when I asked each thereason for their selection of that specialty, both replied they wanted to do a definitive procedure. In other words, they had a particular skill and expertise that few others possessed.
Both had been trained in their discipline. One practiced Internal Medicine then moved into dermatology. Each were competent and certified in one’s field. Each went through long-time in specialty training. Each sought to be definitive in the procedure in one’s field and career. And they were.
But these two are just examples of jobs and occupations which offer a unique definitive opportunity. These positions have several features in common. Few people are doing them. It takes a long time to master the skill. Once “there”, these practitioners are well compensated and in high demand.
Let’s look at other examples of areas of specialization. In Judaism, there is the profession of sofer or also called the scribe. In traditional Judaism, these have been men. They write the Torah and repair them. For our hot tub, there are specialists who only repair vinyl tubs. Or, yet another example are blacksmiths at reconstructed early communities such as at Sturbridge Village in Massachusetts and Mystic Seaport Museum in Connecticut.
There is a term for these careers. It is called hype specialization. But there is a bigger dimension to this super-specialization. It is what many if not all of us on one level want to say, “Look at me! I am special”. Each of us desires to be unique. These folks have done so their careers.
Steve after his winter walk to get more ideas for this Insight.
Insights February 2023 Motion and Cognition
Cutting to the chase, motion promotes thinking. It is a variation of Insights December 2020 Exercise on it: The Mind-Body Connection. Here is an example. Recently, I had writer’s block. That means I wanted to write, but I lacked a topic, direction, and purpose. Yes, I am a writer. I actually like to write. Just like musicians like to make music and dancers like to dance. Hence, dealing with an idea drought was a serious situation. What to do? I went for walk (about a mile round trip) to get mail. In my COVID-19 confinement, The Diary of a Reluctant Social Distance Extrovert Prisoner, these local hikes were one of my salvation.
By the time, I retrieved my mail, I came up with three ideas to write about. I was thrilled. The motion had indeed improved my thinking. Often when jogging by the fourth mile I would gain an insight.
By now, I have established that motion improves thinking. But, how? Motion is just a polite word for exercise. Hence, what are the ways that exercise promotes cognition? May I have the envelope, please? Physical activities lead to enhanced thinking in many ways. With exercise, there is more nutrient oxygen rick flowing to the brain. It causes the generation of mitochondria. These are the energy-power intracellular structures that cause the production of energy. More energy helps more thinking. Amazingly, exercise enhances the process of neurogenesis. This is the creation of new brain cells called neurons. More neurons mean more thinking.
But there is more. Exercise is also an antidepressant. The promotes endorphins. These chemicals decrease pain perception and increase the sense of happiness. Happy people think better. Furthermore, exercising makes a statement: “I am doing something”. Exercise by you is doing something rather than feeling powerless. Less depression translates into better and more constructive thinking.
Back to the Nike slogan, Just Do It becomes motion into cognition, Just Doing It Produces Ideas.
My parents Dr. Louis and Rebecca Zoken Soreff wedding picture
Insights January 2023 Life after Life
I used to teach a college course entitled Death and Dying. In terms of sequence, its name should have been Dying and Death, but the course catalog sets the nomenclature. In the class, one of the students offered this insight: “ After you die, when the last person on earth who knew you die, you die”. Sorry, about the triple die in one sentence, but the idea was profound. Think about it. The notion has depth.
Let me illustrate that concept with an example. Recently, in the class, I teach called Madness and Movies, one of the students noted she came from Lowell, Massachusetts. She recognized my last Soreff as similar to her dentist from her hometown. Indeed, she knew my deceased cousin, Harold Soreff. Suddenly, my cousin was alive in my mind. He was a neat, highly admired, and very loveable person. He always used to smile. On hearing his name, I smiled.
In Judaism, there is the Yahrzeit tradition. That is on the anniversary of a loved one’s death, you light a Yahrzeit candle, which burns for 24 hours, and you go to the synagogue and say Kaddish. That is one way of keeping the memory of that person alive. I do so for my parents. But about my grandfather, for whom I have his Hebrew name? My father cannot light a candle nor say Kaddish. I had never met him. My son and I did find his gravestone in a South Lawrence cemetery called, the Sons of Abraham. Who remembers him?
Recently, I had an opportunity to demonstrate the idea “ After you die, when the last person on earth who knew you die, you die” again. A friend was very much into genealogy. She has access to many historical and newspaper websites. She has shared her findings with me about my parent’s wedding, backgrounds, careers, and deaths. Yes, through these articles, my parents are very much alive for me.
There is one ambivalent corollary to this observation. Some people will “live forever” in history that way. Yes, people will know about and remember people like Newton, Einstein, and Churchill. But, they will also recall Hitler.
Whom do you remember that has died?
Let me illustrate that concept with an example. Recently, in the class, I teach called Madness and Movies, one of the students noted she came from Lowell, Massachusetts. She recognized my last Soreff as similar to her dentist from her hometown. Indeed, she knew my deceased cousin, Harold Soreff. Suddenly, my cousin was alive in my mind. He was a neat, highly admired, and very loveable person. He always used to smile. On hearing his name, I smiled.
In Judaism, there is the Yahrzeit tradition. That is on the anniversary of a loved one’s death, you light a Yahrzeit candle, which burns for 24 hours, and you go to the synagogue and say Kaddish. That is one way of keeping the memory of that person alive. I do so for my parents. But about my grandfather, for whom I have his Hebrew name? My father cannot light a candle nor say Kaddish. I had never met him. My son and I did find his gravestone in a South Lawrence cemetery called, the Sons of Abraham. Who remembers him?
Recently, I had an opportunity to demonstrate the idea “ After you die, when the last person on earth who knew you die, you die” again. A friend was very much into genealogy. She has access to many historical and newspaper websites. She has shared her findings with me about my parent’s wedding, backgrounds, careers, and deaths. Yes, through these articles, my parents are very much alive for me.
There is one ambivalent corollary to this observation. Some people will “live forever” in history that way. Yes, people will know about and remember people like Newton, Einstein, and Churchill. But, they will also recall Hitler.
Whom do you remember that has died?
Insights December 2022 My life did not go the way I planned it, but it is good.
Please, forgive that long title, but it captures the message I want to make. I have rarely ever met a person who could, “my life turned out just exactly the way I planned it.” They counter with the classic cliché’, “life got in the way”. Regardless of when and where you started, things happened to you.
Take the example of John Hockenberry. When he was 19 years old, Hockenberry was in a car accident that left him paralyzed from the chest down. He certainly did not plan that. Before the accident, his interests were in mathematics and music. However, he became an American, a four-time Emmy Award winner, and a three-time Peabody Award winner, who has worked in media since 1980. All of this time in a wheelchair. Perhaps his quote offers a clue: “Let your past make you better, not bitter”. Even more, this is what a Los Angeles Times article said about him: “ A Very Able Disabled Reporter : Radio: Wheelchair-bound NPR reporter John Hockenberry finds his handicap can be an asset in covering a story.” Time for yet another neat cliché’, “Turn our stumbling blocks into stepping stones”. And he did that.
Before looking at more examples of life-altering stories, let us review many of the factors which could change the trajectory of one’s planned career and life. In a shout-out to Bob Dylan’s the times they are a-changin', here are some of the seismic global events. World War II meant for those eligible people military service and war, for women on the home front, there were jobs, and for returning soldiers, there was the GI Bill. The 1960s were a time of social and political earthquakes. Think of the effects of the War in Viet Nam, Woodstock, Rock-in Roll, and Women’s Lib. And recently, there is the Great Resignation as a result of COVID-19. And do not forget what Zoom has done to education and the workplace. On a more individual level, there are illnesses, mental and physical, divorces, incarceration, and family deaths. Within industries and commence, there are expansions and contractions.
Here are more examples. One person entered college as a business major with a planned career in commerce. After taking several sociology classes with dynamic lecturers, he switched majors and later became a well-known sociologist at a prestigious university. In that same idea, another person entered college with a plan to major in Philosophy. He instead became a computer genius. In a different direction, a man had his first marriage dissolve in divorce. He and she were wed on the idea of “til death do us part”. But, their differences emerged as they parted. However, in his second marriage, he reports, “I could not be happier”. As a final example, a woman unexpectedly lost her beloved husband to cancer. She now leads a fully active community-engaged life
Let me tell you about the extraordinary work done by Daniel Todd Gilbert, Ph.D., the Edgar Pierce Professor of Psychology at Harvard University. In a groundbreaking, TED talk entitled The surprising science of happiness, the “author of Stumbling on Happiness challenges the idea that we'll be miserable if we don't get what we want. Our ‘psychological immune system’ lets us feel truly happy even when things don't go as planned.” In that talk, he presents the following provocative question, who is happier a year later, a person who became paraplegic or one who just won a huge amount of money in a lottery? Here is the astonishing answer. They are equally happy! He attributes this to our ability to synthesize happiness.
I rest my case-“My life did not go the way I planned it, but it is good.”
Take the example of John Hockenberry. When he was 19 years old, Hockenberry was in a car accident that left him paralyzed from the chest down. He certainly did not plan that. Before the accident, his interests were in mathematics and music. However, he became an American, a four-time Emmy Award winner, and a three-time Peabody Award winner, who has worked in media since 1980. All of this time in a wheelchair. Perhaps his quote offers a clue: “Let your past make you better, not bitter”. Even more, this is what a Los Angeles Times article said about him: “ A Very Able Disabled Reporter : Radio: Wheelchair-bound NPR reporter John Hockenberry finds his handicap can be an asset in covering a story.” Time for yet another neat cliché’, “Turn our stumbling blocks into stepping stones”. And he did that.
Before looking at more examples of life-altering stories, let us review many of the factors which could change the trajectory of one’s planned career and life. In a shout-out to Bob Dylan’s the times they are a-changin', here are some of the seismic global events. World War II meant for those eligible people military service and war, for women on the home front, there were jobs, and for returning soldiers, there was the GI Bill. The 1960s were a time of social and political earthquakes. Think of the effects of the War in Viet Nam, Woodstock, Rock-in Roll, and Women’s Lib. And recently, there is the Great Resignation as a result of COVID-19. And do not forget what Zoom has done to education and the workplace. On a more individual level, there are illnesses, mental and physical, divorces, incarceration, and family deaths. Within industries and commence, there are expansions and contractions.
Here are more examples. One person entered college as a business major with a planned career in commerce. After taking several sociology classes with dynamic lecturers, he switched majors and later became a well-known sociologist at a prestigious university. In that same idea, another person entered college with a plan to major in Philosophy. He instead became a computer genius. In a different direction, a man had his first marriage dissolve in divorce. He and she were wed on the idea of “til death do us part”. But, their differences emerged as they parted. However, in his second marriage, he reports, “I could not be happier”. As a final example, a woman unexpectedly lost her beloved husband to cancer. She now leads a fully active community-engaged life
Let me tell you about the extraordinary work done by Daniel Todd Gilbert, Ph.D., the Edgar Pierce Professor of Psychology at Harvard University. In a groundbreaking, TED talk entitled The surprising science of happiness, the “author of Stumbling on Happiness challenges the idea that we'll be miserable if we don't get what we want. Our ‘psychological immune system’ lets us feel truly happy even when things don't go as planned.” In that talk, he presents the following provocative question, who is happier a year later, a person who became paraplegic or one who just won a huge amount of money in a lottery? Here is the astonishing answer. They are equally happy! He attributes this to our ability to synthesize happiness.
I rest my case-“My life did not go the way I planned it, but it is good.”
Insights November 2022 Numbers are more than just numbers
If that title is too obtuse, let me use one of my loose associations to clarify it. When teaching any of my many different college courses, regardless of the subject, whenever we turned to page 401 in their textbook, I would the student what that page had to do with the state of Rhode Island? Students were generally perplexed and slightly bewildered. After their moments of exasperation, I told them it was the telephone area code for Rhode Island. Yes, I told you it was a loose association. Cutting to the chase, certain numbers are connected to people, events experiences, and emotions.
Let’s take the disorder called triskaidekaphobia. That is the fear of the number 13. And for some people, it is very real. Hence, some hotels and hospitals often avoid the 13th floor and room 13. Forget its origins, it nicely illustrates how a simple number can be so significant.
Furthermore, I believe that all folks have certain numbers that are highly significant to them. Look at how many people use their birthdays in the passwords and locker combinations. Say 911 and many of us will have a flashback to September 11, 2001. They will re-experience that moment and that day. The bottom line is that certain numbers are not neutral. Again, with examples, try the number 42. It is Douglas Adams,’ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, “The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42!” It is also Jackie Robison’s number. I almost rest my case, but.
Another way to look at numerical significance is by reviewing birthday, anniversary, and reunion numbers. Sure, all of them are important. But look at how much more attention we pay to certain birthdays. For some groups, Sweet 16 is significant. Then there are the key birthdays such as the 18th and 21st that lead to at lead to certain privileges. Keeping with birthdays, 30, 40,50,60,70,75,80,90, and 100 are important. For wedding anniversaries, each one has a special gift designation as well as silver and gold for 25 and 50. And with reunions, certain years- 25, 50, and 75 count more than other ones.
As I began, numbers are more than just numbers. Numbers have meaning.
Let’s take the disorder called triskaidekaphobia. That is the fear of the number 13. And for some people, it is very real. Hence, some hotels and hospitals often avoid the 13th floor and room 13. Forget its origins, it nicely illustrates how a simple number can be so significant.
Furthermore, I believe that all folks have certain numbers that are highly significant to them. Look at how many people use their birthdays in the passwords and locker combinations. Say 911 and many of us will have a flashback to September 11, 2001. They will re-experience that moment and that day. The bottom line is that certain numbers are not neutral. Again, with examples, try the number 42. It is Douglas Adams,’ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, “The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42!” It is also Jackie Robison’s number. I almost rest my case, but.
Another way to look at numerical significance is by reviewing birthday, anniversary, and reunion numbers. Sure, all of them are important. But look at how much more attention we pay to certain birthdays. For some groups, Sweet 16 is significant. Then there are the key birthdays such as the 18th and 21st that lead to at lead to certain privileges. Keeping with birthdays, 30, 40,50,60,70,75,80,90, and 100 are important. For wedding anniversaries, each one has a special gift designation as well as silver and gold for 25 and 50. And with reunions, certain years- 25, 50, and 75 count more than other ones.
As I began, numbers are more than just numbers. Numbers have meaning.
Insights October 2022 Four Full Seasons
The splendor of the New Hampshire Fall Foliage remains one of the most glorious and gorgeous times of the year. People come from all over the United States and the world to witness it. But, it is only one of the four seasons. I am writing in praise of each of them. Each offers new beginnings and endings. Each is unique.
Fall right now takes center stage. Yippee. The brilliance of the sugar maple tree’s leaves screams, “ look at me”. The yellow of the Aspen leaves provides an Oriental look to the landscape. The foliage of the White Mountains is legendary. People flock to peek at the peaks during Peak season. The autumn shrine.
Winter offers a variety of firsts. These include the first snowfall of the year, blazing the first trail into the wilderness, the first down-high ski run, and of course, the first snowball fight of the year. There are chestnuts roasting over an open fire. Your neighborhood can appear like Currier and Ives’ paintings. Then there are the neat and giving holidays.
Spring means resurrection, rejuvenation, and re-emergence. The trees burst out with brilliant, vividly green leaves. Animals and us emerge from hibernation. It is time to wear your new bonnet. And, things begin to grow. It is a time of hope, marriages, and graduations.
Now for summertime “and the living is easy”. It is vacation time in the northern hemisphere. It is the season of “play ball” for “the boys of summer”, growing everything, going to the beaches, hiking in the mountains, playing golf, and family time. And it used to mean no school.
Getting to the point. Each season has its glory, uniqueness, and special attributes. That is why I love New Hampshire and all of New England. They have four full seasons. Enjoy them all ?
Fall right now takes center stage. Yippee. The brilliance of the sugar maple tree’s leaves screams, “ look at me”. The yellow of the Aspen leaves provides an Oriental look to the landscape. The foliage of the White Mountains is legendary. People flock to peek at the peaks during Peak season. The autumn shrine.
Winter offers a variety of firsts. These include the first snowfall of the year, blazing the first trail into the wilderness, the first down-high ski run, and of course, the first snowball fight of the year. There are chestnuts roasting over an open fire. Your neighborhood can appear like Currier and Ives’ paintings. Then there are the neat and giving holidays.
Spring means resurrection, rejuvenation, and re-emergence. The trees burst out with brilliant, vividly green leaves. Animals and us emerge from hibernation. It is time to wear your new bonnet. And, things begin to grow. It is a time of hope, marriages, and graduations.
Now for summertime “and the living is easy”. It is vacation time in the northern hemisphere. It is the season of “play ball” for “the boys of summer”, growing everything, going to the beaches, hiking in the mountains, playing golf, and family time. And it used to mean no school.
Getting to the point. Each season has its glory, uniqueness, and special attributes. That is why I love New Hampshire and all of New England. They have four full seasons. Enjoy them all ?
September 2022 The Value of New Year’s Resolution
At this point, you are thinking, although the idea sounds interesting, why now? The easy answer is that I am Jewish and on the evening of September 25, 2022, begins Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Others may invoke the same concept on December 31, 2022, or January 1, 2023. And for those wanting more information, the Jewish New Year celebrates the creation of the earth. For the record, this will be year 5783.
But the real reason for this topic remains the huge importance of both reflection and the opportunity to change. Yes, the New Year provides two figures representing the transition. They are the old person and a baby. Besides the time to write those often boring family boasting endof-the-year newsletters, it is a moment to look back on the last year. If you are honest and candid with yourself, you can appraise ‘the good, the bad, and the ugly’ of your last year. Thank you, Clint Eastwood, for your phrase and movie.
And, from that assessment can come ideas of how to do better. Besides, the too-often quickly lapsed gym membership and participation, this is a great time to develop and implement changes for the coming year. I use still the old-fashioned paper and pencil yearly appointment book. But, it is called an academic appointment book. It is based on the September to September schedule. I find that more fitting to my life. And, yes it coincides with the Jewish New Year.
The new year does offer an opportunity to look back with reflection, and a chance tomake plans based on this process and the new resolutions.
But the real reason for this topic remains the huge importance of both reflection and the opportunity to change. Yes, the New Year provides two figures representing the transition. They are the old person and a baby. Besides the time to write those often boring family boasting endof-the-year newsletters, it is a moment to look back on the last year. If you are honest and candid with yourself, you can appraise ‘the good, the bad, and the ugly’ of your last year. Thank you, Clint Eastwood, for your phrase and movie.
And, from that assessment can come ideas of how to do better. Besides, the too-often quickly lapsed gym membership and participation, this is a great time to develop and implement changes for the coming year. I use still the old-fashioned paper and pencil yearly appointment book. But, it is called an academic appointment book. It is based on the September to September schedule. I find that more fitting to my life. And, yes it coincides with the Jewish New Year.
The new year does offer an opportunity to look back with reflection, and a chance tomake plans based on this process and the new resolutions.
Insights for Better Mental Health
July 2022 Questioning Your Job and Life
The buzzword phrase coined during the COVID-19 pandemic of 2020 was the great resignation. Indeed, which ironically is also a job search company, a significant number of folks quit their jobs during this period. “At the same time, quits totaled 4.54 million, an increase of 152,000 from the previous month as the so-called Great Resignation continued, was reported in May 2022.” The number of people leaving their jobs is real and impressive. A Pew report attributes that to three causes: “low pay (63%), no opportunities for advancement (63%), and feeling disrespected at work (57%)”.
Although those reasons are true and fitting, they do not go far enough. I believe that there is a deeper and an underlying explanation. Simply put it is a matter of life and death. Especially in the early days of the pandemic, bodies with literally piling up. There were trailers of people who had just died of COVID-19 outside hospitals. There were mass graves. This meant, that individuals were faced with their own mortality. They suddenly had to think seriously about their lives. Socrates said "The unexamined life is not worth living", The pandemic confronted all of us to reflect on our lives. We had to ask ourselves- Is this job worth my life? And, is this the life I want to live?
There is a story told of a man who survived a heart attack and dramatically changed his life, He altered his diet and stopped drinking alcohol. He quit his job and took up a new career. He called the heart attack his “wake-up call”. In that way, the fear and the reality of COVID was for many people a wake-up call. It made them re-evaluate their lives. It made them question their career and their purpose in life. That led to the Great Resignation.
Although those reasons are true and fitting, they do not go far enough. I believe that there is a deeper and an underlying explanation. Simply put it is a matter of life and death. Especially in the early days of the pandemic, bodies with literally piling up. There were trailers of people who had just died of COVID-19 outside hospitals. There were mass graves. This meant, that individuals were faced with their own mortality. They suddenly had to think seriously about their lives. Socrates said "The unexamined life is not worth living", The pandemic confronted all of us to reflect on our lives. We had to ask ourselves- Is this job worth my life? And, is this the life I want to live?
There is a story told of a man who survived a heart attack and dramatically changed his life, He altered his diet and stopped drinking alcohol. He quit his job and took up a new career. He called the heart attack his “wake-up call”. In that way, the fear and the reality of COVID was for many people a wake-up call. It made them re-evaluate their lives. It made them question their career and their purpose in life. That led to the Great Resignation.
June 2022 Remember the Titans The Movie and the Message
Do you remember seeing Remember the Titans? This 2000 film depicted the true story of when T. C. Williams High School in Alexandra, Virginia in 1971 was forced by the Supreme Court’s decision of Brown vs The Board of Education to integrate. Its newly formed football team composed of whites and African-Americans members not only bonded amazingly together and became victorious but also united the community. It starred Denzel Washington portraying the real-life coach Herman Boone. I’ll admit when it was first released, I dismissed it as yet another high school football movie and did not watch it. My bad. Later, when I did watch it, I discovered what a treasure it was. Here is why.
The real message of the movie was if you want people of different backgrounds, religions, races, political parties, social groups, and economic levels to listen to and appreciate each other have them actually work together. The film provided an example of what different races really have to work together as a team, they had to hear the others had to say and respect them as individuals. Remember the old cliché’, there is no I in the word team? If you want a winning squad, you have to come together. It is a simple idea. Interpersonal interactions often reduce one’s thinking in stereotypes. Mark Twain once said. “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness”. Working with people breaks down barriers.
There are many examples of how to have something that brings people together. These includeamong others- an athletic team, a community garden, a neighborhood clean-up, and a local yard sale.Working together with others is a great way to connect and appreciate them.
The real message of the movie was if you want people of different backgrounds, religions, races, political parties, social groups, and economic levels to listen to and appreciate each other have them actually work together. The film provided an example of what different races really have to work together as a team, they had to hear the others had to say and respect them as individuals. Remember the old cliché’, there is no I in the word team? If you want a winning squad, you have to come together. It is a simple idea. Interpersonal interactions often reduce one’s thinking in stereotypes. Mark Twain once said. “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness”. Working with people breaks down barriers.
There are many examples of how to have something that brings people together. These includeamong others- an athletic team, a community garden, a neighborhood clean-up, and a local yard sale.Working together with others is a great way to connect and appreciate them.
May 2022 "I once was lost, but now I'm found"
Hello, if that introduction sounds familiar, it is. It is from the song, Amazing Grace. Not, I am not becoming super religious, but instead, that lyric provides a vehicle to introduce my next insight. Let me share my experience, which brought it about. In December 2021, my partner Peggy and I, along with several friends, vacationed in Hawaii. Despite COVID precautions and restrictions, it was a great trip. En route, I discovered I had lost my coveted water bottle. It was in the side pouch of my backpack when I left home. Once on the islands, I discovered it was gone. I believed that it had slipped out when the pack was in the overhead compartment of the bus that took us to the airport. The bus company did not have it when I checked. It was gone. Therefore, I purchased a replacement bottle.
Fast forward to March 24, 2022, I was clearing out the back of my car and getting ready for huge load to take to my town’s Recycling Center. And, there it was-my water bottle. And that leads me to my insight- do not give up on things or ideas you believe were lost.
There are many stories in the news about how lost engagement and wedding rings have been found long after their disappearance. The recovery is cause for great celebrations after the huge loss. My partner, Peggy, loves to do and complete a 1,000-piece puzzle. She and her son are very proficient and efficient in doing them. Once done, finished puzzles represent significant achievements. However, on two occasions, each of the “completed” puzzles was missing one piece missing! To get to the point, by happenstance, I found the wandering pieces. One-piece, I discovered on the bedroom floor. The other piece, I found in the woods near our home. The message was the same; what was lost but now is now found.
Remember, I noted both lost objects and ideas. Let me switch gears. I was part of my Tufts College 45th class reunion. At one of the ceremonies, each one of us talked about one’s life and career. Many stated, “ I did such and such as my job, but now I returned to my first loved activity.” For one, after her business career, she was now a ski instructor. It was her first passion, but job and career were in the way. Another example was an emergency department physician, and now has a wine vineyard. He loved growing things. Me, afterpracticing psychiatry and then university teaching, I am now a newspaper reporter for my hometown online newspaper. My first real high school career was a reporter for the school’s newspaper.
The insight is that for certain things and passions, although they all seemed lost, never give up on them. They may be found!
Fast forward to March 24, 2022, I was clearing out the back of my car and getting ready for huge load to take to my town’s Recycling Center. And, there it was-my water bottle. And that leads me to my insight- do not give up on things or ideas you believe were lost.
There are many stories in the news about how lost engagement and wedding rings have been found long after their disappearance. The recovery is cause for great celebrations after the huge loss. My partner, Peggy, loves to do and complete a 1,000-piece puzzle. She and her son are very proficient and efficient in doing them. Once done, finished puzzles represent significant achievements. However, on two occasions, each of the “completed” puzzles was missing one piece missing! To get to the point, by happenstance, I found the wandering pieces. One-piece, I discovered on the bedroom floor. The other piece, I found in the woods near our home. The message was the same; what was lost but now is now found.
Remember, I noted both lost objects and ideas. Let me switch gears. I was part of my Tufts College 45th class reunion. At one of the ceremonies, each one of us talked about one’s life and career. Many stated, “ I did such and such as my job, but now I returned to my first loved activity.” For one, after her business career, she was now a ski instructor. It was her first passion, but job and career were in the way. Another example was an emergency department physician, and now has a wine vineyard. He loved growing things. Me, afterpracticing psychiatry and then university teaching, I am now a newspaper reporter for my hometown online newspaper. My first real high school career was a reporter for the school’s newspaper.
The insight is that for certain things and passions, although they all seemed lost, never give up on them. They may be found!
A Nap :)
April 2022 In praise of naps
Yes, this insight is in praise of napping. Not only do I credit my ability to nap as one of my important and useful personal assets , but also I will argue that is good for your health as well as mine.
Let me look at how my ability to nap has helped me. And, by napping, I am talking about quick, short 10 to 20 minutes moment of sleeping aka naps. In college and especially medical school, I found that a quick nap between classes or often in the afternoon extremely refreshing and energizing. These ‘cat’ naps proved particularly useful during my internship and residency. I recall driving home while in medical school from Chicago to Connecticut in 20 hours will a number of road side naps when I felt fatigued. Even today, if while driving, I feel fatigued, I still will pull over in a safe location and take a quick nap before completing the trip. For me, naps are an important source of renewal and maintaining alertness.
But that is for me, now let’s review some of the general health benefits of napping. They include your ability to relax. Many of us lead hectic, time driven lives. Taking a few minutes off for relaxation can be incredibly rejuvenating. Napping can relieve fatigue. That quality of napping has been critical in my life. It is well known, when you are fatigued, you are much more prone to making mistakes and having accidents. When and if you feel fatigue coming on, stop and take a nap. It is that simple.
Here is another great gain from napping. When you wake up from a nap, you feel more alert. Another benefit of naps is that they can act to improve your mood. Napping can be a mild but effective antidepressant. Feeling depressed? Try a quick nap. You’ll be amazed how it can lift you spirits. Another advantage of naps is because of their ability to improve your alertness. In turn being alert will speed up your reaction times. Also being alert can enhance your memory. But that is not all. Naps in several studies have been shown to let you live longer. And, who does not want to live longer?
For all these reasons, I praise napping. In fact, I wrote this piece after I took a short afternoon nap! It is your turn. Try one some time.
Let me look at how my ability to nap has helped me. And, by napping, I am talking about quick, short 10 to 20 minutes moment of sleeping aka naps. In college and especially medical school, I found that a quick nap between classes or often in the afternoon extremely refreshing and energizing. These ‘cat’ naps proved particularly useful during my internship and residency. I recall driving home while in medical school from Chicago to Connecticut in 20 hours will a number of road side naps when I felt fatigued. Even today, if while driving, I feel fatigued, I still will pull over in a safe location and take a quick nap before completing the trip. For me, naps are an important source of renewal and maintaining alertness.
But that is for me, now let’s review some of the general health benefits of napping. They include your ability to relax. Many of us lead hectic, time driven lives. Taking a few minutes off for relaxation can be incredibly rejuvenating. Napping can relieve fatigue. That quality of napping has been critical in my life. It is well known, when you are fatigued, you are much more prone to making mistakes and having accidents. When and if you feel fatigue coming on, stop and take a nap. It is that simple.
Here is another great gain from napping. When you wake up from a nap, you feel more alert. Another benefit of naps is that they can act to improve your mood. Napping can be a mild but effective antidepressant. Feeling depressed? Try a quick nap. You’ll be amazed how it can lift you spirits. Another advantage of naps is because of their ability to improve your alertness. In turn being alert will speed up your reaction times. Also being alert can enhance your memory. But that is not all. Naps in several studies have been shown to let you live longer. And, who does not want to live longer?
For all these reasons, I praise napping. In fact, I wrote this piece after I took a short afternoon nap! It is your turn. Try one some time.
March 2022 Compass Power
This insight focuses on the dual power of having a compass. In the first instance, it means simply having a physical compass when hiking in the wilderness or driving in an unfamiliar area. The second involves the compass as being a metaphor of having a direction in your life.
Let’s look first at the compass use in wilderness travel. I love to make my own trail as I snowshoe in newly fallen snow. The spring-summer-fall familiar paths have been obliterated by the deep snow. I am free to set my own trail. And I do. However, especially on cloudy days, my peregrinations often led me to actually end up going in complete circle. Then, I got smart and took my trusty compass with me. Yippee. I followed it, in this instance, on a north course. And good news, I did I not go in circle but instead I reached the road which I was aiming for. Thus, a physical compass works in the real world. Incidentally, my car compass functions the same way. It prevents me driving in circles and allows me to get to the intended destination.
Now let’s apply that idea to having a direction in your life. Here are three good reasons: survival, being stress resistant and longevity. Viktor E. Frankl is a psychiatrist who survived the Nazi slave labor camps and the death camps. He wrote the book entitled Man's Search for Meaning. He chronicled how those who had a purpose in their lives survived more than those without it. He attributes his own survival to live through those horrors to his goal and purpose was to write that book. He said, “When I was taken to the concentration camp of Auschwitz, a manuscript of mine ready for publication was confiscated. Certainly, my deep desire to write this manuscript anew helped me to survive the rigors of the camps I was in.” In some cases, one’s survival depends on having a purpose, meaning and direction in one’s life.
Who does not have stress in their lives? I know, few if any, who do not. And some jobs are considered more stressful than others. These include first responders, police, air traffic controllers and physicians. Recognizing there will be stress in your life, is there anything one can do about it? Raymond Flannery in his book Becoming Stress Resistant offers 6 things one can do in preparation to deal with life’s inevitable stresses. These include having a take charge attitude, committed to a goal, attention to life style issues-diet, use of potential addicting substances, exercise and relaxation methods, ability to seek others, humor and concern for others, What is key is that having a direction and goal makes it much easier to cope with stress.
Finally, if people have a direction, purpose and goal in their lives, they live longer. This makes sense. It offers them a reason for living. Hence, using a physical compass and having direction in your life are important. What is your life’s direction?
Let’s look first at the compass use in wilderness travel. I love to make my own trail as I snowshoe in newly fallen snow. The spring-summer-fall familiar paths have been obliterated by the deep snow. I am free to set my own trail. And I do. However, especially on cloudy days, my peregrinations often led me to actually end up going in complete circle. Then, I got smart and took my trusty compass with me. Yippee. I followed it, in this instance, on a north course. And good news, I did I not go in circle but instead I reached the road which I was aiming for. Thus, a physical compass works in the real world. Incidentally, my car compass functions the same way. It prevents me driving in circles and allows me to get to the intended destination.
Now let’s apply that idea to having a direction in your life. Here are three good reasons: survival, being stress resistant and longevity. Viktor E. Frankl is a psychiatrist who survived the Nazi slave labor camps and the death camps. He wrote the book entitled Man's Search for Meaning. He chronicled how those who had a purpose in their lives survived more than those without it. He attributes his own survival to live through those horrors to his goal and purpose was to write that book. He said, “When I was taken to the concentration camp of Auschwitz, a manuscript of mine ready for publication was confiscated. Certainly, my deep desire to write this manuscript anew helped me to survive the rigors of the camps I was in.” In some cases, one’s survival depends on having a purpose, meaning and direction in one’s life.
Who does not have stress in their lives? I know, few if any, who do not. And some jobs are considered more stressful than others. These include first responders, police, air traffic controllers and physicians. Recognizing there will be stress in your life, is there anything one can do about it? Raymond Flannery in his book Becoming Stress Resistant offers 6 things one can do in preparation to deal with life’s inevitable stresses. These include having a take charge attitude, committed to a goal, attention to life style issues-diet, use of potential addicting substances, exercise and relaxation methods, ability to seek others, humor and concern for others, What is key is that having a direction and goal makes it much easier to cope with stress.
Finally, if people have a direction, purpose and goal in their lives, they live longer. This makes sense. It offers them a reason for living. Hence, using a physical compass and having direction in your life are important. What is your life’s direction?
February 2022 The Importance of Searching
One of the keys to better mental health is to searching. What do I mean? It means not being just satisfied with what you have, but instead I am always looking for how to make things better. Before you think I am off on a wild idea, let me show you to see searching in the different context. What I am advocating for being curious. Using the twist on the old cliché, curiosity killed the cat, but information brought him back. I want to know how something works. As a psychiatrist, I seek to understand what make people tick. Yes, the quest leads to a journey. A search indicates a level of discontent. Wow, that is radical. Remember, that history has been made by discontent people.
Let be show you an example of the problem of not searching. The history of many industries is littered with examples of companies with self-satisfaction have gone out of business. The photographic giant, Kodak has been replaced by digital photography.
As you have seen by now, perhaps you have noticed that I am wandering about in my attempt to define searching. The answer is. As I am writer and I always searching for the right way to write something. And that search has led me to a look at synonyms for searching.. Here is what I found. examination, exploration, hunt, inquiry, inspection, investigation, pursuit and quest. I like them all but really enjoy the word explore. That is what I believe human beings’ manifest destiny explore. That is why people from many different continents set off to explore the world by boats. That is why we went to the moon and now wish to go to Mars.
So, keep searching, looking, inquiring, investigating, exploring and examining your world. You’ll be amazed at what you will discover.
Let be show you an example of the problem of not searching. The history of many industries is littered with examples of companies with self-satisfaction have gone out of business. The photographic giant, Kodak has been replaced by digital photography.
As you have seen by now, perhaps you have noticed that I am wandering about in my attempt to define searching. The answer is. As I am writer and I always searching for the right way to write something. And that search has led me to a look at synonyms for searching.. Here is what I found. examination, exploration, hunt, inquiry, inspection, investigation, pursuit and quest. I like them all but really enjoy the word explore. That is what I believe human beings’ manifest destiny explore. That is why people from many different continents set off to explore the world by boats. That is why we went to the moon and now wish to go to Mars.
So, keep searching, looking, inquiring, investigating, exploring and examining your world. You’ll be amazed at what you will discover.
January, 2022: The Somerville Connection
Many years ago, at the nadir of my life, I was actually a telemarketer. Yes, one of those dreaded folks who call during diner time and are very annoying. In that capacity, I had an opportunity to have a conversation with a potential customer. She was not interested in my product but we had a great chat anyways. In the process of the talk, I asked her where she lived? She replied, “I live in Somerville, Massachusetts.” I, then said to her, “I, too had lived in Somerville”. This was true. While attending Tufts University, Class of 1964, I did live in Somerville. I was in an apartment near Powder House Square. At this point, she utters this famous line. “In everyone’s life, there is a Somerville”. That proves to be a profound pronouncement.
Allow me to explain what is so significant about the Somerville connection. First and foremost, here is what you will find, if you conduct this astonishing little empirical experiment. Ask in any given group, you encounter ask the following question: “Do you know someone who has either lived at one time or nowt lives in Somerville?” Try it. For example, I put this question of my Little River Tai Chi gang recently. Of the five there, all of them had either lived in Somerville or knew someone who had dwelled there. Again, the same idea with a different variation. When I was an Information Volunteer for the Appalachian Mountains Club (AMC) at Pinkham Notch. One of the hiking families I talked to came from Somerville. You’ll be amazed at how many folks who encounter have a Somerville connection. Thus, proving, “In everyone’s life there is a Somerville”.
But that is not all. Let me show you. Everyone, which means you, knows one person who has lived in Somerville. Really! It was Barack Obama. He lived in Somerville attending Harvard Law School. Try it! You’ll be surprised, Anyways, asking people you meet for the first time, an inquiry about where they are from is a great ‘ice breaker ‘ and a nice way to start a conversation. As noted in the Insights October 2019: “How to Make Friends and Influence People”. Have fun with the Somerville connection.
Allow me to explain what is so significant about the Somerville connection. First and foremost, here is what you will find, if you conduct this astonishing little empirical experiment. Ask in any given group, you encounter ask the following question: “Do you know someone who has either lived at one time or nowt lives in Somerville?” Try it. For example, I put this question of my Little River Tai Chi gang recently. Of the five there, all of them had either lived in Somerville or knew someone who had dwelled there. Again, the same idea with a different variation. When I was an Information Volunteer for the Appalachian Mountains Club (AMC) at Pinkham Notch. One of the hiking families I talked to came from Somerville. You’ll be amazed at how many folks who encounter have a Somerville connection. Thus, proving, “In everyone’s life there is a Somerville”.
But that is not all. Let me show you. Everyone, which means you, knows one person who has lived in Somerville. Really! It was Barack Obama. He lived in Somerville attending Harvard Law School. Try it! You’ll be surprised, Anyways, asking people you meet for the first time, an inquiry about where they are from is a great ‘ice breaker ‘ and a nice way to start a conversation. As noted in the Insights October 2019: “How to Make Friends and Influence People”. Have fun with the Somerville connection.
December, 2021: The Difference between Strategy and Tactics
Many years ago, at the nadir of my life, I was actually a tele-marketer. Yes, one of those dreaded folks who call during diner time and are very annoying. In that capacity, I had an opportunity to have a conversation with a potential customer. She was not interested in my product but we had a great chat anyways. In the process of the talk, I asked her where she lived? She replied, “I live in Somerville, Massachusetts.” I, then said to her , “I, too had lived in Somerville”. This was true. While attending Tufts University, Class of 1964, I did live in Somerville. I was in an apartment near Powder House Square. At this point, she utters this famous line. “In everyone’s live there is a Somerville”. That proves to be a profound pronouncement.
Allow me to explain what is so significant about the Somerville connection. First and foremost, here is what you will find, if you conduct this astonishing little empirical experiment. Ask in any given group, you encounter ask the following question: “Do you know someone who has either lived at one time or nowt lives in Somerville?” Try it. For example, I put this question of my Little River Tai Chi gang recently. Of the five there, all of them had either lived in Somerville or knew someone who had dwelled there. Again, the same idea with a different variation. When I was an Information Volunteer for the Appalachian Mountains Club (AMC) at Pinkham Notch. One of the hiking families I talked to came from Somerville. You’ll be amazed of how many folks who encounter have a Somerville connection. Thus, proving, “In everyone’s live there is a Somerville”.
But that is not all. Let me show you. Everyone, which means you, knows one person who has lived in Somerville. Really! It was Barack Obama. He lived in Somerville attending Harvard Law School. Try it! You’ll be surprised, Anyways, asking people you meet for the first time, an inquiry about where they are from is a great ‘ice breaker ‘ and a nice way to start a conversation. As noted in the Insights October 2019:?“How to Make Friends and Influence People”. Have fun with the Somerville connection.
Allow me to explain what is so significant about the Somerville connection. First and foremost, here is what you will find, if you conduct this astonishing little empirical experiment. Ask in any given group, you encounter ask the following question: “Do you know someone who has either lived at one time or nowt lives in Somerville?” Try it. For example, I put this question of my Little River Tai Chi gang recently. Of the five there, all of them had either lived in Somerville or knew someone who had dwelled there. Again, the same idea with a different variation. When I was an Information Volunteer for the Appalachian Mountains Club (AMC) at Pinkham Notch. One of the hiking families I talked to came from Somerville. You’ll be amazed of how many folks who encounter have a Somerville connection. Thus, proving, “In everyone’s live there is a Somerville”.
But that is not all. Let me show you. Everyone, which means you, knows one person who has lived in Somerville. Really! It was Barack Obama. He lived in Somerville attending Harvard Law School. Try it! You’ll be surprised, Anyways, asking people you meet for the first time, an inquiry about where they are from is a great ‘ice breaker ‘ and a nice way to start a conversation. As noted in the Insights October 2019:?“How to Make Friends and Influence People”. Have fun with the Somerville connection.
November, 2021: Patience is a virtue
I am now arguing for the virtue of being patient. However, before I explain this idea, I need to deal with a possible contradiction. In Insights for February 2020, I Just do it now! was a definite call for action. Yes, in certain situations, the Carpé Diem approach is indicated. These are often emergency circumstances. But, in other instances, patience emerges as the better response.
Perhaps examples will clarify this concept. An easy situation occurs in cooking. In barbequing a thick steak, it is much better to allow the meat to linger for a while over the glowing coals than a quick moment over the heat. In the latter instance, you get burnt surface and raw, red, and uncooked center. A similar chef-type situation applies to cooking a stew. Alternately, here is a medical example. A person runs a low-grade fever. However, its etiology is unclear. But, applying the ‘tincture of time’, in several hours a rash surfaces suggesting the cause of the fever and its treatment.
In another instance, I had to do an interview of the patient in front of three observing psychiatrists as part of the Oral Psychiatric Board Examination. The interview consisted of my taking the p psychiatric and medical history and assessing his mental status. The goal of the interview was to determine a psychiatric diagnosis and formulate a treatment plan. Then, I presented my findings and diagnoses. One of the watching psychiatrists pointed out that I failed to notice in my differential diagnosis that the patient was also depressed. At that moment, I felt embarrassed, humiliated, and annoyed by his comments. However, I checked my emotions and collected my thoughts. I did not respond immediately to his observation. Instead, when I did speak, I thanked the examiner for his insight. My patience here, I believe, helped me to pass that stressful examination.
Several clichés would help here. One is to engage your brain before opening your mouth. The next is Look Before You Leap. And the third is Count to Ten before Responding. They all proclaim the value and virtue of patience in many situations. And, to end on a humorous note, as a practicing doctor, one definitely needs patients.
Perhaps examples will clarify this concept. An easy situation occurs in cooking. In barbequing a thick steak, it is much better to allow the meat to linger for a while over the glowing coals than a quick moment over the heat. In the latter instance, you get burnt surface and raw, red, and uncooked center. A similar chef-type situation applies to cooking a stew. Alternately, here is a medical example. A person runs a low-grade fever. However, its etiology is unclear. But, applying the ‘tincture of time’, in several hours a rash surfaces suggesting the cause of the fever and its treatment.
In another instance, I had to do an interview of the patient in front of three observing psychiatrists as part of the Oral Psychiatric Board Examination. The interview consisted of my taking the p psychiatric and medical history and assessing his mental status. The goal of the interview was to determine a psychiatric diagnosis and formulate a treatment plan. Then, I presented my findings and diagnoses. One of the watching psychiatrists pointed out that I failed to notice in my differential diagnosis that the patient was also depressed. At that moment, I felt embarrassed, humiliated, and annoyed by his comments. However, I checked my emotions and collected my thoughts. I did not respond immediately to his observation. Instead, when I did speak, I thanked the examiner for his insight. My patience here, I believe, helped me to pass that stressful examination.
Several clichés would help here. One is to engage your brain before opening your mouth. The next is Look Before You Leap. And the third is Count to Ten before Responding. They all proclaim the value and virtue of patience in many situations. And, to end on a humorous note, as a practicing doctor, one definitely needs patients.
October, 2021 Routines Rule
Yes, I am advancing the idea that having a set routine for many things has great merit. Why? Because the daily system prevents making mistakes. Let me be a dull as a possible. I have a morning routine or ritual. I clean my mouth guard, floss, brush my teeth, take my prescribed medications, then take my vitamins, use mouth wash and shave. Wow-big deal. The gain is that I take the right medications at the right time as well as completing my hygiene chores. I do not miss important things.
Here is the same theme in a different context. I have a placement ritual when I come home at night. I put the car keys on a hook next to the garage. My sunglasses, in their protective case, are placed next to the model of the Charles W. Morgan, a whaling sail bark at the Mystic Seaport in Mystic Connecticut. The iphone gets plugged into the recharger. My trusty camera is placed next to the computer so its pictures can be uploaded to the proper files. This ritual has several advantages. It is easy to discover something is missing. Its facilities a quick and order scheme for the next time I go out. And, its t tells me where to find things, if I need them.
As a psychiatrist my most important diagnostic procedure remains the interview . It generally followed a script. It would begin with the Chief Compliant, recent history, social and family history, medical history, medications and lead to a thorough, complete and comprehensive mental status. By following this scheme, I made sure I covered and gained all the significant information in order to make a diagnosis a treatment plan. And, I immediately write down and document what I have learned before I forget it. That stands consistent with the ideas expressed in Insights February 2020 Just do it now!
I suspect others maintain their own routines. These include cooks, carpenters, surgeons and shop keepers to name a few. I find a certain comfort in some prayers and their order in the worship services I attend. Furthermore, as I travel nationally and globally, the synagogue services I attend follow a similar and familiar routine and ritual. Indeed, the same holds true for my Tai Chi practice.
Take home message having certain routines can be very helpful and make you be successful.
Here is the same theme in a different context. I have a placement ritual when I come home at night. I put the car keys on a hook next to the garage. My sunglasses, in their protective case, are placed next to the model of the Charles W. Morgan, a whaling sail bark at the Mystic Seaport in Mystic Connecticut. The iphone gets plugged into the recharger. My trusty camera is placed next to the computer so its pictures can be uploaded to the proper files. This ritual has several advantages. It is easy to discover something is missing. Its facilities a quick and order scheme for the next time I go out. And, its t tells me where to find things, if I need them.
As a psychiatrist my most important diagnostic procedure remains the interview . It generally followed a script. It would begin with the Chief Compliant, recent history, social and family history, medical history, medications and lead to a thorough, complete and comprehensive mental status. By following this scheme, I made sure I covered and gained all the significant information in order to make a diagnosis a treatment plan. And, I immediately write down and document what I have learned before I forget it. That stands consistent with the ideas expressed in Insights February 2020 Just do it now!
I suspect others maintain their own routines. These include cooks, carpenters, surgeons and shop keepers to name a few. I find a certain comfort in some prayers and their order in the worship services I attend. Furthermore, as I travel nationally and globally, the synagogue services I attend follow a similar and familiar routine and ritual. Indeed, the same holds true for my Tai Chi practice.
Take home message having certain routines can be very helpful and make you be successful.
September, 2021 The Friendship Triangle
Friendships remain one of the great sustainers of living and life. Our friends serve as our social support systems. Just, only for a moment, imagine your lives without your friends. That was one of the most potent interruptions due to the pandemic. But what are the key ingredients in the true and great friendships? Yes, think about your relationship to your best friends. Here are two things that I have learned about the Friendship Triangle. First, there are a number of different The Friendship Triangles models out there. Second, many of them can also be applied to love relationships and marriages.
Here is the Friendship Triangle model I prefer. It is based are proximity, values and reciprocity. Let us look at each one. Proximity means you most likely find and make your friends with those with whom you are geographically close to. Look at the relationships you develop at school, on a team, at a place of worship, and at work. Remember all those friends you have gained and sustained from those locations. I will hasten to add, through the Internet, the geographic limits have changed.
Values is the next part. Think of the following question. Is it similarities or opposites that attract people to each other? Rephased, which one of these alternatives would you be more apt to pick as a friend: a person to whom you are similar to or a person who different than yourself? Stated another way, are introverts more connected other introverts or extroverts? The real and neat answer is that friendship is based on shared and similar values.
Reciprocity represents the third pillar of the Friendship Triangle. This translates into a truly interactive conversational experience. Rephased, you talk, then your friend speak and it goes back and forth. Think of a recent conversation with a good friend. Often, you have spoken for an hour but it felt only a few minutes. I recall talking with a good friend recently. It was like watch a popcorn popping. Apply the reciprocity to your conversations.
Friendship Triangle is based are proximity, shared values and reciprocity. It offers a neat way to look at and understand your relationships.
Here is the Friendship Triangle model I prefer. It is based are proximity, values and reciprocity. Let us look at each one. Proximity means you most likely find and make your friends with those with whom you are geographically close to. Look at the relationships you develop at school, on a team, at a place of worship, and at work. Remember all those friends you have gained and sustained from those locations. I will hasten to add, through the Internet, the geographic limits have changed.
Values is the next part. Think of the following question. Is it similarities or opposites that attract people to each other? Rephased, which one of these alternatives would you be more apt to pick as a friend: a person to whom you are similar to or a person who different than yourself? Stated another way, are introverts more connected other introverts or extroverts? The real and neat answer is that friendship is based on shared and similar values.
Reciprocity represents the third pillar of the Friendship Triangle. This translates into a truly interactive conversational experience. Rephased, you talk, then your friend speak and it goes back and forth. Think of a recent conversation with a good friend. Often, you have spoken for an hour but it felt only a few minutes. I recall talking with a good friend recently. It was like watch a popcorn popping. Apply the reciprocity to your conversations.
Friendship Triangle is based are proximity, shared values and reciprocity. It offers a neat way to look at and understand your relationships.
August, 2021 Another Meaning of Dicken’s A Christmas Carol.
Most folks know something about Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Carol. From the Royal Shakespeare’s website https://www.rsc.org.uk/a-christmas-carol/plot here is the basic plot. “ A Christmas Carol is a play about a mean-spirited and selfish old man, Ebenezer Scrooge, who hates Christmas. One cold Christmas Eve, Scrooge is unkind to the people who work for him, then refuses to give to charity, and then is rude to his nephew when he invites him to spend Christmas with him. When Scrooge gets home, he is visited by the ghost of his old business partner Jacob Marley – and then by three ghosts! They are the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Christmas Present and Christmas Future.
The Ghost of Christmas Past takes Scrooge on a journey through Christmases from his past, taking Scrooge to see himself as an unhappy child and a young man more in love with money than his fiancé. The Ghost of Christmas Present shows Scrooge his clerk, Bob Cratchit’s family. At Bob Cratchit’s house Scrooge sees Tiny Tim, who is very ill, but full of spirit. The ghost then takes him to see his nephew Fred’s Christmas celebrations - which he had been invited to, but rebuffed.
Finally, The Ghost of Christmas Future terrifies Scrooge by showing him visions of his own death… The ghosts’ journey through time teaches Scrooge the error of his ways. When he wakes up on Christmas Day, he is full of excitement, and buys the biggest turkey in the shop for the Cratchit family before spending the day with his nephew, full of the joys of Christmas.”
I am calling upon this story is to illustrate the three pillar of life and of psychotherapy. One needs a balance of all three-the past, the present and the future in one’s life. Let us look at each of them. Much of psychotherapy is simply eliciting and hearing the patient’s history. Yes, traumas of the past influence the present and future. The unique story of each person is very important to tell and to hear. Often, people are haunted by past events. Exploring them remains one of the major tasks of psychotherapy. .
However, it is key to relate them to the present and focus them to the here and now. It is important for one to be able to fully “smell the roses” today. The quintessential therapy question in remains, “How does it make feel you?” Present means that one is paying attention to the moment and the ability to be in that moment .
But that is not all. Too often people and therapists miss the power of the future. What do you want? What are your dreams and aspirations? Where will you be in one year, three, five and ten years? Imagine your life without a future. Nothing to look forward to? The twin H’s of depression stands as Hopelessness and Helplessness. Again, think of your life without any hope! That is depressing. Hence, the future serves as vital part of your appreciation of the present and has been influenced by your past.
A balanced healthy life depends on the alignment and harmony of these three-past, present and future. Thank you, Charles Dickens and Scrooge for pointing that out.
The Ghost of Christmas Past takes Scrooge on a journey through Christmases from his past, taking Scrooge to see himself as an unhappy child and a young man more in love with money than his fiancé. The Ghost of Christmas Present shows Scrooge his clerk, Bob Cratchit’s family. At Bob Cratchit’s house Scrooge sees Tiny Tim, who is very ill, but full of spirit. The ghost then takes him to see his nephew Fred’s Christmas celebrations - which he had been invited to, but rebuffed.
Finally, The Ghost of Christmas Future terrifies Scrooge by showing him visions of his own death… The ghosts’ journey through time teaches Scrooge the error of his ways. When he wakes up on Christmas Day, he is full of excitement, and buys the biggest turkey in the shop for the Cratchit family before spending the day with his nephew, full of the joys of Christmas.”
I am calling upon this story is to illustrate the three pillar of life and of psychotherapy. One needs a balance of all three-the past, the present and the future in one’s life. Let us look at each of them. Much of psychotherapy is simply eliciting and hearing the patient’s history. Yes, traumas of the past influence the present and future. The unique story of each person is very important to tell and to hear. Often, people are haunted by past events. Exploring them remains one of the major tasks of psychotherapy. .
However, it is key to relate them to the present and focus them to the here and now. It is important for one to be able to fully “smell the roses” today. The quintessential therapy question in remains, “How does it make feel you?” Present means that one is paying attention to the moment and the ability to be in that moment .
But that is not all. Too often people and therapists miss the power of the future. What do you want? What are your dreams and aspirations? Where will you be in one year, three, five and ten years? Imagine your life without a future. Nothing to look forward to? The twin H’s of depression stands as Hopelessness and Helplessness. Again, think of your life without any hope! That is depressing. Hence, the future serves as vital part of your appreciation of the present and has been influenced by your past.
A balanced healthy life depends on the alignment and harmony of these three-past, present and future. Thank you, Charles Dickens and Scrooge for pointing that out.
July, 2021 It is better to light one candle than curse the darkness
I will start with a quick admission. I have used this phase before in January 2020: Your New Year's Resolution: Just do something. Then, I wrote “Growing up in the 1950's I vividly recall hearing the Reverend Fulton J. Sheen on the television. He had a television series entitled Life is Worth Living. http://fulton-sheen.cua.edu/bio/index.cfm.” That was his motto and message. It is another clarion call to action. However, now, I want to spin it another way.
All too often, one is surrounded by negative messages. For example, with weather.it is too hot or too cold or windy or too humid. I used to work in an office where the boss would chastise others for “casting negativity about the room”. Complaining is fashionable and can be contagious. It has been said, if you like, something, let us say, a restaurant, you will tell a few people about your positive experience there. However, if you had a less than satisfactory encounter there, you will tell about 25 people about it. It is easy to complain than to find something good to say.
There is the infamous joke about a waiter addressing a group of snobby, slightly elderly, rich women after having served them a meal. He inquires, “was anything alright?” Yes, I am advocating an attitude of gratitude. Perhaps, I would break into a Monty Python song “Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad, Other things just make you swear and curse, When you're chewing on life's gristle, Don't grumble, give a whistle, And this'll help things turn out for the best, And, Always look on the bright side of life, Always look on the light side of life.” Or to continue with the corny chemistry story. What happens when a hydrogen an atom loses its electron? It became positive.
Yes, I am arguing finding good things to be thankful for and taking the action of lighting a candle as both recognizing the what is positive and taking the action to shine a light on it. In my synagogue ‘s Friday night prayer book there a responsive section entitled Prayerful thanksgiving that is written this way “to give thanks for the many gifts which we already possess and are often overlooked”. The key words are “often overlooked”. Look around and see all miracles that surround us.
Go a head and light a candle!
All too often, one is surrounded by negative messages. For example, with weather.it is too hot or too cold or windy or too humid. I used to work in an office where the boss would chastise others for “casting negativity about the room”. Complaining is fashionable and can be contagious. It has been said, if you like, something, let us say, a restaurant, you will tell a few people about your positive experience there. However, if you had a less than satisfactory encounter there, you will tell about 25 people about it. It is easy to complain than to find something good to say.
There is the infamous joke about a waiter addressing a group of snobby, slightly elderly, rich women after having served them a meal. He inquires, “was anything alright?” Yes, I am advocating an attitude of gratitude. Perhaps, I would break into a Monty Python song “Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad, Other things just make you swear and curse, When you're chewing on life's gristle, Don't grumble, give a whistle, And this'll help things turn out for the best, And, Always look on the bright side of life, Always look on the light side of life.” Or to continue with the corny chemistry story. What happens when a hydrogen an atom loses its electron? It became positive.
Yes, I am arguing finding good things to be thankful for and taking the action of lighting a candle as both recognizing the what is positive and taking the action to shine a light on it. In my synagogue ‘s Friday night prayer book there a responsive section entitled Prayerful thanksgiving that is written this way “to give thanks for the many gifts which we already possess and are often overlooked”. The key words are “often overlooked”. Look around and see all miracles that surround us.
Go a head and light a candle!
June, 2021 Make Like a Snake and Shed
I hope this title proves to be provocative. It was designed to be too. The idea behind it is that snakes grow, mature, and live longer by actually shedding their skins. Yes, I know, we also do the same every day but not dramatically. We shed skin cells all the time. Additionally, other animals do the same thing. But the concept here is a metaphor. It means in order to develop and mature as a person; one must periodically not only take an inventory of one ‘s ways of thinking but also be willing to shed and change them. This is done either consciously or unconsciously. Either way, one abandons certain ideas and incorporates others.
To drop back to Psychology 101, Piaget's Theory of Cognitive Development chronicles how as one matures that individual moves through a series of ways of thinking. For example, children see the world in terms of black and white aka concretely. As children mature, they see the world in more abstract. Many of us view many areas and answers in terms of gray. Although we have all heard of the idea, eye for an eye”, our justice system is not based on that Code of Hammurabi. We accept that human behaviors and their consequences are much more complex.
And continuing on the ancient history tact, let me look at many of the stories from the Hebrew Bible. What and when I learned them in Sunday School, they seemed straightforward and simple. Later, I studied them again in both Torah and Talmud classes. There, I discovered how complex they can be. Many of them were not so black and white, but instead several shades of gray. As a result of further study, I have changed my ideas of some of the events and people in the stories in them.
Translating shedding into our lives means we must often change our views as we mature. We see our jobs, money, family, religion, and responsibilities differently as we grow up. Shedding some ideas and replacing them with a new ones is a good and necessary part of life.
To drop back to Psychology 101, Piaget's Theory of Cognitive Development chronicles how as one matures that individual moves through a series of ways of thinking. For example, children see the world in terms of black and white aka concretely. As children mature, they see the world in more abstract. Many of us view many areas and answers in terms of gray. Although we have all heard of the idea, eye for an eye”, our justice system is not based on that Code of Hammurabi. We accept that human behaviors and their consequences are much more complex.
And continuing on the ancient history tact, let me look at many of the stories from the Hebrew Bible. What and when I learned them in Sunday School, they seemed straightforward and simple. Later, I studied them again in both Torah and Talmud classes. There, I discovered how complex they can be. Many of them were not so black and white, but instead several shades of gray. As a result of further study, I have changed my ideas of some of the events and people in the stories in them.
Translating shedding into our lives means we must often change our views as we mature. We see our jobs, money, family, religion, and responsibilities differently as we grow up. Shedding some ideas and replacing them with a new ones is a good and necessary part of life.
May, 2021 Just write it.
The idea for a better mental health derives from the amazing power of simply writing things down. Wow, what is that all about? Here are several examples of that. Mary Kay, of the pink Cadillac fame and the cosmetic world, began her business consultant career by telling executives to start each day with a list of six things to be accomplished that day. This proved to be very effective advice and proved to be very successful. This list not only provided goals for the day but also a place check-ff your accomplishments. Here are several more examples. Remember how much more effective your weight loss or miles run programs were when you kept a record aka writing the results down each day. Or to get Biblical, Moses first came down the mountain with oral 10 Commandments. But, G-d called him back so they could be written on down on two stone tablets for all to see.
Returning to the theme, just write it, writing is powerful. One of the neat tools in psychotherapy is called journaling. The therapist asks one simply to write down each day one’s emotions, thoughts and behavior. It offers productive avenue for self-evaluation, reflection and growth. Or to go to the other extreme, there is old legal adage, “an oral contract is not worth the paper it is printed on!” From my days doing Quality Improvement at Westboro State Hospital, there was this keystone rule of medical documentation; “if it is not written, it did not happen”.
Taking another tack, your mobile phone or computer can also be as an effective method of ‘just write it’, . I know many folks who not only count their steps each day but also keep a longitude record for each walk. This allows one to both see progress and provides a neat graphic chart of it. Others use the computer program to track what and how much they eat. And, of course, one could follow weight loss or gain depending on the circumstances.
Whatever method you select, the basic idea is that transforming thoughts into visible products have profound powerful effects.
Returning to the theme, just write it, writing is powerful. One of the neat tools in psychotherapy is called journaling. The therapist asks one simply to write down each day one’s emotions, thoughts and behavior. It offers productive avenue for self-evaluation, reflection and growth. Or to go to the other extreme, there is old legal adage, “an oral contract is not worth the paper it is printed on!” From my days doing Quality Improvement at Westboro State Hospital, there was this keystone rule of medical documentation; “if it is not written, it did not happen”.
Taking another tack, your mobile phone or computer can also be as an effective method of ‘just write it’, . I know many folks who not only count their steps each day but also keep a longitude record for each walk. This allows one to both see progress and provides a neat graphic chart of it. Others use the computer program to track what and how much they eat. And, of course, one could follow weight loss or gain depending on the circumstances.
Whatever method you select, the basic idea is that transforming thoughts into visible products have profound powerful effects.
April, 2021 The Creativity Power Connection
This month the intriguing topic of creativity commands center stage. Let me introduce it with a riddle. April showers brings mayflowers, What do mayflowers bring? The answer is Pilgrims. Okay, I accept a groan. To me, that riddle illustrates creativity. How so? It offers surprise by linking flowers to a religious group. The creativity here is based on connecting two dissimilar ideas, or objects together for the first time. Take Einstein’s E = mc2. It brilliantly connects matter and energy. There is also, a less obvious connection. This is one’s ability to see and enjoy one’s inner child. You can enjoy those too often repressed joys of splashing in a mud puddling with doing the dishes. Remember, when there really was a monster under the bed or the boggy man in the closet. One of components of creativity is its ability to link things together making something new. But there are others. Creativity besides connection includes imagination, dreams, curiosity, and opportunity.
One of the greatest facets of imagination is that there are not rules, You can transcend time and space. You go back in time or you can construct a future world. And, you are not bound by geography. You can go anywhere on earth, into the underworld or in the universe. The key to imagination is freedom. What a wonderful gift is being free which imagination gives you.
By dreams, I do not mean the conventional idea of have a dream and follow it. Although that helps, I am thinking of the amazing ability of dreams to solve problems. There is the tale of a German chemist trying to figure out a new compound. The story goes that he had a dream of a snake biting its tail. That night time adventure led to the famous discovery of the benzene ring. Dmitri Mendeleev, another chemist, had a dream which led to the creation of the Periodic Table. But, you need not be a chemist to harness the power of dreams. Others have written songs, solved problems, and developed story plots while dreams. . And, there are many more ways dreaming can be linked the creativity. At least, it is an idea worth sleeping on.
Yes, there is the old saying, “curiosity killed the cat, but information brought her back”. Please, forgive the more modern quote’s ending. But, being curious represents the gateway to being creative. As a psychiatrist, I have often pointed to my waist watch. Then, I say “I love to figure out want makes some one tick”. Asking why and then pursuing the answer to it allows for great discovery adventures. And, yes, creativity can be an active verb. Be curious and find out what makes anything or everything work.And opportunity plays a role in creativity. The reason that Florence, Italy becoming one of the cradles of the Renaissance was because in brought together artists and their wealthy patrons in a supportive milieu. Other places that have supported creativity was Vienna, Austria at the time of Freud and Greenwich Village, New York at the time of Pete Seeger. Working with and about creative people, in a supportive environment helps. And do not forget, necessary is the father of invention. In the pandemic, people have found ingenious ways to cope and thrive.
Be creative. Connect two ideas into something ne. Use your imagination. Use your dreams at night to solve problems of the day. Be curious. Work with other creative, supportive and appreciative people. And, seize the opportunity to address problems to come up with new solutions.
One of the greatest facets of imagination is that there are not rules, You can transcend time and space. You go back in time or you can construct a future world. And, you are not bound by geography. You can go anywhere on earth, into the underworld or in the universe. The key to imagination is freedom. What a wonderful gift is being free which imagination gives you.
By dreams, I do not mean the conventional idea of have a dream and follow it. Although that helps, I am thinking of the amazing ability of dreams to solve problems. There is the tale of a German chemist trying to figure out a new compound. The story goes that he had a dream of a snake biting its tail. That night time adventure led to the famous discovery of the benzene ring. Dmitri Mendeleev, another chemist, had a dream which led to the creation of the Periodic Table. But, you need not be a chemist to harness the power of dreams. Others have written songs, solved problems, and developed story plots while dreams. . And, there are many more ways dreaming can be linked the creativity. At least, it is an idea worth sleeping on.
Yes, there is the old saying, “curiosity killed the cat, but information brought her back”. Please, forgive the more modern quote’s ending. But, being curious represents the gateway to being creative. As a psychiatrist, I have often pointed to my waist watch. Then, I say “I love to figure out want makes some one tick”. Asking why and then pursuing the answer to it allows for great discovery adventures. And, yes, creativity can be an active verb. Be curious and find out what makes anything or everything work.And opportunity plays a role in creativity. The reason that Florence, Italy becoming one of the cradles of the Renaissance was because in brought together artists and their wealthy patrons in a supportive milieu. Other places that have supported creativity was Vienna, Austria at the time of Freud and Greenwich Village, New York at the time of Pete Seeger. Working with and about creative people, in a supportive environment helps. And do not forget, necessary is the father of invention. In the pandemic, people have found ingenious ways to cope and thrive.
Be creative. Connect two ideas into something ne. Use your imagination. Use your dreams at night to solve problems of the day. Be curious. Work with other creative, supportive and appreciative people. And, seize the opportunity to address problems to come up with new solutions.
March 2021 March Into Aging
I will admit that is a cute beginning to a serious topic-“getting older”. Yes, I am writing about becoming a senior citizen. There is a new answer to aging. Right now, we are rewriting the geriatric book on aging. When I was growing up, it was the joke that seniors moved to Florida and spent their days sitting by the pool and clipping coupons. While older folks in Florida are still look for their senior discounts, they are more active than their predecessors. They are golfing, running, playing pickle ball, and swimming.
Two quick examples for this thesis. When John Glenn returned to outer space, he did so at age 77! Our current President, Joseph Biden is 78 years old. And, he is very active. A 2020 survey by Willis Towers Watson trumpeted that in terms of retirement that 70 is the new 60. Golden agers are running marathons and climbing mountains. The Appalachian Mountain Club (AMC) now has a special patch for seniors who are 70 year or older and have climbed all New Hampshire’s 48 over four thousand feet peak.
There are Senior Olympics on the state level and a National, too. The National Senior Games Association (NGA) https://nsga.com/ will host the National Senior Games 2022, May 10-23, 2022 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. To qualify to be an athlete for these events one must be at least 50 years old by December 31, 2021. The competitive events include archery, badminton, basketball, bowling, non-ambulatory bowling, cornhole, cycling, golf, pickleball, horseshoes, power walk, race walk, racquetball, road race, shuffleboard, soccer, softball, swimming, table tennis, tennis, track & field, triathlon, and volleyball. These games provide testimony that aging does not necessarily mean deterioration.
I recall the inspiring statement written across the wall at a Southern Maine University’s gymnasium wall that was attributed Dr. Paul Dudley White, a renowned cardiologist. It said something to the effect that you can become healthier as you become older. The message is clear. Seniors now are more active, involved, participating and doing more things than ever before. Aging can be the gateway to opportunities, activities, adventures and accomplishments.
Two quick examples for this thesis. When John Glenn returned to outer space, he did so at age 77! Our current President, Joseph Biden is 78 years old. And, he is very active. A 2020 survey by Willis Towers Watson trumpeted that in terms of retirement that 70 is the new 60. Golden agers are running marathons and climbing mountains. The Appalachian Mountain Club (AMC) now has a special patch for seniors who are 70 year or older and have climbed all New Hampshire’s 48 over four thousand feet peak.
There are Senior Olympics on the state level and a National, too. The National Senior Games Association (NGA) https://nsga.com/ will host the National Senior Games 2022, May 10-23, 2022 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. To qualify to be an athlete for these events one must be at least 50 years old by December 31, 2021. The competitive events include archery, badminton, basketball, bowling, non-ambulatory bowling, cornhole, cycling, golf, pickleball, horseshoes, power walk, race walk, racquetball, road race, shuffleboard, soccer, softball, swimming, table tennis, tennis, track & field, triathlon, and volleyball. These games provide testimony that aging does not necessarily mean deterioration.
I recall the inspiring statement written across the wall at a Southern Maine University’s gymnasium wall that was attributed Dr. Paul Dudley White, a renowned cardiologist. It said something to the effect that you can become healthier as you become older. The message is clear. Seniors now are more active, involved, participating and doing more things than ever before. Aging can be the gateway to opportunities, activities, adventures and accomplishments.
February 2021 Buy locally !!!
First, let me explain my reasons to buy locally. reason it Several years ago, I set out to look for and purchase a snow blower. Yes, I had grown tired of shoveling my driveway. Initially, I went to a big box store. It had a neat array of snow blowers which were at reasonable prices. But, it just did not feel right. So, I then went to a local snow blower and lawn mower shop. The owner personally talked me and make several points. He noted that although the same name on the machine was in his store and the big box, the bigger store did not have the same high quality parts as his ones did under ‘the hood’. Next, he offered that his shop would both pick-up and return it from our house when it need servicing or repairs. Furthermore, he indicated he would service the machine there, if it need of work. The big box store said if I had problem with it, I would have to contact the manufacture. I must admit, that the local shop’s price was slightly higher, but the in-house service option, sold me. Not only do I not regret the purchase, but I also discovered when I had problems with the machine, I was moved to the head of the line for repairs, because I bought it there. Reason one is local serve.
Certainly, when it comes to fruits and vegetables, the local farm stand cannot be beat. Their produce is fresher than most supermarkets. Their attention and knowledge of the items is amazing. And, clearly the transportation costs are low or non-existent. Reasons two and three are fresh quality and supporting local businesses. By the way, I have found the same quality to going to a local mechanic for my car. It more convenient and very much appreciated.
Certainly, when it comes to fruits and vegetables, the local farm stand cannot be beat. Their produce is fresher than most supermarkets. Their attention and knowledge of the items is amazing. And, clearly the transportation costs are low or non-existent. Reasons two and three are fresh quality and supporting local businesses. By the way, I have found the same quality to going to a local mechanic for my car. It more convenient and very much appreciated.
The ultimate buy local: A farm stand-
To complete the sequence of purchasing locally, it is also better when it comes to computers. A quick confession, the computer is integral to my work and life especially in the pandemic. I did walk the talk and brought my new computer through a local computer genius. Yes, I have had computer technical help remotely from the Philippines, Georgia, and Maine for it. They have be useful and helpful. But when one of them actually sat down in front of my computer, then his skills and abilities not only dazzled me but also did wondered for my computer.
Whenever possible buy locally! It better for service, and quality supports area businesses.
Whenever possible buy locally! It better for service, and quality supports area businesses.
January 2021 One step at a time
Welcome to January of a new year, 2021-yippee! This represents the perennial time for the infamous New Year’s Resolutions. As any gym personnel will testify, those ambitious plans crumble by February or March. What can I offer in the face of that reality? Simple, whatever you resolve to accomplish, do it one step at a time. There are a million cliché’s that trumpet it. “Think globally; act locally”. Dean Witter used to boast and advertise itself as “We measure success one investor at a time ". Whenever I set out to climb a mountain, I do it one step at time. Each step is the key to whole venture. And, when I did long sail boat race, I would break it in ‘legs’ to be achieved. The race is only completed and hopefully won one leg, properly executed, in order, at a time.
Whatever the goal, do it in stages. Set limited, small, accomplishable gains. Just like in climbing a mountain, I do it in phases. Get to the base of the mountain. Then, reach the high transvers. Finally, I hike on to the summit. And between the phases, there are each step at a time. One great advantage of this system is each section achieved, represents a victory. Success breeds success.
Let’s look at other examples. Let’s take weight lost. You resolve to lose 20 pounds-great. But, instead set the goal of losing 5 pounds in 3 weeks. Yes, aim low, go slow. This system proves to be more sustainable, too. Or you want toe learn to play a musical instrument. First, practice simple hand or mouth pieces. Do simple songs. One new note at time. Or you want to run a half marathon. Start with jogging. Later move to running. Get comfortable with a 5 k race. Build your endure and confidence slowly, Like The Little Engine that Could, I think I can, I think I can!
In medicine there is another example. We starting an elderly patient on a new medication, the basic rule go low and slow. That translates into an initial low dose and increase it gradually over time. It works.
The message remains, when starting out on a new venture aim high but go slow.
Whatever the goal, do it in stages. Set limited, small, accomplishable gains. Just like in climbing a mountain, I do it in phases. Get to the base of the mountain. Then, reach the high transvers. Finally, I hike on to the summit. And between the phases, there are each step at a time. One great advantage of this system is each section achieved, represents a victory. Success breeds success.
Let’s look at other examples. Let’s take weight lost. You resolve to lose 20 pounds-great. But, instead set the goal of losing 5 pounds in 3 weeks. Yes, aim low, go slow. This system proves to be more sustainable, too. Or you want toe learn to play a musical instrument. First, practice simple hand or mouth pieces. Do simple songs. One new note at time. Or you want to run a half marathon. Start with jogging. Later move to running. Get comfortable with a 5 k race. Build your endure and confidence slowly, Like The Little Engine that Could, I think I can, I think I can!
In medicine there is another example. We starting an elderly patient on a new medication, the basic rule go low and slow. That translates into an initial low dose and increase it gradually over time. It works.
The message remains, when starting out on a new venture aim high but go slow.
December 2020 Exercise on it: The Mind-Body Connection
Let me jump to the bottom line and work backward.. Physical activity helps you think. Here is an example, years ago a publisher canceled the book contract I had been writing for it. I had done a great deal of work on it and was quite vexed, to say the least. However, rather than just sit there and stew about it, I went for a jog. During the run, I came up with the idea of turning the book’s concept into edited journal issue. Running improved my thinking and the resultant idea was testimony to value of physical activity in my cognitive ability aka thinking.
I loved to jog. I found after running for a while, my thinking became clearer and focused. During my running a course, I reaped many cognitive benefits. I would come upon a neat solution to a problem that I had been fretting. Or, while my feet hit the ground, I would come with a creative idea, gain an insight, or rework an article I was writing. And, as my July 2019, Insights for a Better Mental Health noted “Exercise makes me a better person”. I found that exercising not only improved my menta abilities but also lead to be being more generous and helpful to others. Although jogging was one form of exercising, I have found many different activities had the same cognitive improvements. The physical activity could be walking, a stair master, bicycling, golfing or on an elliptical machine.
And many studies demonstrate the link physical activity and thinking. Christopher Bergland https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201404/physical-activity-improves-cognitive-function writes “Regular physical activity can improve brain function throughout a lifespan.” Alzheimer’s prevention programs as well as many other programs designed to promote, maintain and improve the brain advocate physical activity.
So, when you are dealing with a problem, wanting to gain insight into an issue, hope to be creative and just want to think clearer, exercise!
I loved to jog. I found after running for a while, my thinking became clearer and focused. During my running a course, I reaped many cognitive benefits. I would come upon a neat solution to a problem that I had been fretting. Or, while my feet hit the ground, I would come with a creative idea, gain an insight, or rework an article I was writing. And, as my July 2019, Insights for a Better Mental Health noted “Exercise makes me a better person”. I found that exercising not only improved my menta abilities but also lead to be being more generous and helpful to others. Although jogging was one form of exercising, I have found many different activities had the same cognitive improvements. The physical activity could be walking, a stair master, bicycling, golfing or on an elliptical machine.
And many studies demonstrate the link physical activity and thinking. Christopher Bergland https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201404/physical-activity-improves-cognitive-function writes “Regular physical activity can improve brain function throughout a lifespan.” Alzheimer’s prevention programs as well as many other programs designed to promote, maintain and improve the brain advocate physical activity.
So, when you are dealing with a problem, wanting to gain insight into an issue, hope to be creative and just want to think clearer, exercise!
October 2020 The Morning Glory and Your Glory
I hope that title caught your attention, here is the story. In our garden, we have a couple of Morning Glory vines. One grows on a triangular trellis and the other, on a pole. All Summer long, the vines with their large green leaves surrounded and held on to each’s supporting device. Nice. Then, on Saturday, September 5, 2020 the one on the pole vine produced two beautiful purple flowers. They took my breathe away. I said to myself, “I should take a picture of them”. But, it was getting on toward evening and dinner was waiting. The next day, the flower was gone. It blew my mind.
What did I learn? I found out two things—one about the Morning Glory and the other about life. Here’s what the website said about the plant https://www.hgtv.com/outdoors/flowers-and-plants/flowers/morning-glory-flower. “These beautiful bloomers unfurl trumpet-shaped flowers that open daily in early morning. Morning Glory flowers bring magic to the garden with their sun-worshiping ways. Each blossom lingers only until the sun begins to sizzle each day, then they close and die. It’s an incredible process to witness.”
And the life lesson is for certain things do not put them off. This idea represents a kissing cousin to Carpe Diem. The Morning Glory event shouted out to me- stop procrastinating! “Do not put off to tomorrow, what you can do today". Many senior folks often say , "I do not regret the things that I did, but rather those I did not do."
In looking at life, I have had many moments I am proud of. These include hearing Robert Frost in person, shaking hands with Barack Obama, and listening in person to Pete Seeger. A friend of mine missed a meeting to attend her son’s first baseball game. She was right. She can get the minutes of the meeting but never have the seconds of the first game experience. Your child’s birth, cutting the umbilical cord, hearing their first words, watching your kids' first steps and being at their kindergarten graduations — all are moments, if not witnessed, are gone like the flower of a Morning Glory.
And by the way, I did learn from experience. But, the next day the vine had another flower and I did take that one’s picture!
What did I learn? I found out two things—one about the Morning Glory and the other about life. Here’s what the website said about the plant https://www.hgtv.com/outdoors/flowers-and-plants/flowers/morning-glory-flower. “These beautiful bloomers unfurl trumpet-shaped flowers that open daily in early morning. Morning Glory flowers bring magic to the garden with their sun-worshiping ways. Each blossom lingers only until the sun begins to sizzle each day, then they close and die. It’s an incredible process to witness.”
And the life lesson is for certain things do not put them off. This idea represents a kissing cousin to Carpe Diem. The Morning Glory event shouted out to me- stop procrastinating! “Do not put off to tomorrow, what you can do today". Many senior folks often say , "I do not regret the things that I did, but rather those I did not do."
In looking at life, I have had many moments I am proud of. These include hearing Robert Frost in person, shaking hands with Barack Obama, and listening in person to Pete Seeger. A friend of mine missed a meeting to attend her son’s first baseball game. She was right. She can get the minutes of the meeting but never have the seconds of the first game experience. Your child’s birth, cutting the umbilical cord, hearing their first words, watching your kids' first steps and being at their kindergarten graduations — all are moments, if not witnessed, are gone like the flower of a Morning Glory.
And by the way, I did learn from experience. But, the next day the vine had another flower and I did take that one’s picture!
August 2020 Thinking outside the box
Most of us have heard the term but many do not know its origin. However, before I get to that answer, let me explain the idea of this insight. Too often, people take the easiest solution to a problem. Right now, I am asking you to use your creative talent and thinking outside the box to solve the problem I am presenting to you, now.
Here is the problem which I have given to many of my college classes. The question aka the problem is simply what does my mother love and what does she hate. For example, she loves kittens and hates cats; she loves puppies and hates dogs. Easy-right. You figured it out? But and this is a big BUT, once you solved what my mother loves and hated DO NOT tell the answer but instead provide an example of what she loves and hates.
Ready to go on? My mother loves ladders but hates stairs; my mother loves pepper but hates salt; and my mother loves hills but hates mountains. Not quite so easy? This is hard to do, when the students cannot see the actual words. That is a big clue. Here are a few more. My mother loves pills but hates medicine; my mother loves jelly beans but hates candy; and since jelly beans can come in different colors, my mother loves yellow but hates red.
Figured it out? If so, give an example of what she loves and hates. Okay, she loves double consonants and hates any other word. Remember loves double consonants but she hates school!!
The whole exercise is for you to think outside the box. In other words, be creative. Now as promised, the source of that statement. “Thinking Outside the Box with the 9-Dot Problem. Here is another classic puzzle, the 9-dot problem. To a person who encounters it for the first time, it can be puzzling indeed. The problem is to connect 9 dots (three evenly spaced rows of three) with four lines, without lifting your pencil from the paper. If you do not know the solution to this puzzle, you should try to solve it now, using trial and error, before you read further.” https://www.psywww.com/intropsych/ch07-cognition/problem-solving.html#9-dot
Here is the problem which I have given to many of my college classes. The question aka the problem is simply what does my mother love and what does she hate. For example, she loves kittens and hates cats; she loves puppies and hates dogs. Easy-right. You figured it out? But and this is a big BUT, once you solved what my mother loves and hated DO NOT tell the answer but instead provide an example of what she loves and hates.
Ready to go on? My mother loves ladders but hates stairs; my mother loves pepper but hates salt; and my mother loves hills but hates mountains. Not quite so easy? This is hard to do, when the students cannot see the actual words. That is a big clue. Here are a few more. My mother loves pills but hates medicine; my mother loves jelly beans but hates candy; and since jelly beans can come in different colors, my mother loves yellow but hates red.
Figured it out? If so, give an example of what she loves and hates. Okay, she loves double consonants and hates any other word. Remember loves double consonants but she hates school!!
The whole exercise is for you to think outside the box. In other words, be creative. Now as promised, the source of that statement. “Thinking Outside the Box with the 9-Dot Problem. Here is another classic puzzle, the 9-dot problem. To a person who encounters it for the first time, it can be puzzling indeed. The problem is to connect 9 dots (three evenly spaced rows of three) with four lines, without lifting your pencil from the paper. If you do not know the solution to this puzzle, you should try to solve it now, using trial and error, before you read further.” https://www.psywww.com/intropsych/ch07-cognition/problem-solving.html#9-dot
Good looking for and finding solutions outside the box.
The purpose of this whole Insight, is to encourage folks to look for unique, creative and innovative answers and solutions to questions and problem in their lives. Start-up companies and entrepreneurial people are now major players in our lives and economy. Remember, it the beginning facebook and ebooks were the result of thinking outside the box.
The purpose of this whole Insight, is to encourage folks to look for unique, creative and innovative answers and solutions to questions and problem in their lives. Start-up companies and entrepreneurial people are now major players in our lives and economy. Remember, it the beginning facebook and ebooks were the result of thinking outside the box.